Ifrogman ifrogman

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

You have nothing to fear if…

In this crazy mixed-up world governed by human beings, it’s so nice to realise that not all of you are the same where your attitude is concerned. Take Bob for instance. The garden I live in belongs to him, but he always thinks of me too. Since Bob is a bit of an inventor, along with the fact that he creates most of his inventions in his shed, I now manage to keep warm over the winter months. You see, most of you know that he built an endless source of energy, nothing overly complicated, but it’s enough to keep his shed warm for free, along with the space beneath it, which is where I now hide out when it’s terribly cold. I’m envied by other frogs everywhere. :-) Ribbit!!!

Don’t you think that it would be nice if all humans felt this way towards each other? Bob says that it reminds him of how everything was in the years following WWII. Everyone looked to their neighbours as friends, not only this, but they trusted one another too. Bob says that you could leave your homes unlocked and trust that nobody would come in to rob you blind. Well, that’s long in the past, he says, and I believe him. Today, not only do you have to watch out against those who would come in and rob you, but now he reckons that there is another more dangerous enemy to be concerned about. Croak!!!

How many times have you heard someone say “You have nothing to fear if you’ve done nothing wrong?” Bob says that he’s heard this more than ever before. It’s a saying used by anyone who thinks that they are better than anyone else, the self-righteous, for instance. You know, I hear humans speaking when they’re not aware I’m standing close by. They think that this country is a grand place to live in and wouldn’t live anywhere else. The trouble is, changes are a coming, and very, very soon. Croak!!!

I think that fear will soon be a byword in British society, whereby you will be told that - You have nothing to fear if you’ve done nothing wrong. Let me tell you this : Your government would have you all believe that in spying on your phone calls, emails and on your internet browsing habits, they will help society to remain safe. Are they kidding? Bob reckons that this, along with all the other proposals they are making, reminds him of what was happening in Germany prior to WWII. You could probably understand their actions if everyone was truly in danger, in fact, Bob would welcome good old honest safety measures, but the trouble is, your government is not renown for keeping sensitive data safe. No, it’s more likely to lose it than anything else. If I had some money like the rest of you humans have, I’d have a bet with you right now. I’d bet you that once your government has gathered all of this information and placed it ‘somewhere safe’ (Sic) the media will soon announce that either someone has hacked into their data base and stolen the lot, or that somebody has lost a quantity of it, along with their sandwiches, while going to work on a train. Croak!!!

Of all the people I know, and in truth it’s not that many :-(, Bob is among those who would dearly love to see a return of those good old standards that once existed in Britain. Unfortunately, greed, menace, selfishness and downright dishonesty is what you humans have to deal with in your lives today. You simply can’t trust anyone, more especially your government. Think not? Then why is it that it never seeks to do what is right for its voters, or more importantly, for everyone who lives in Britain today? Croak!!!

Still not convinced? Why aren’t they doing something about these rip-off fuel prices? Why? Because of the money they make from taxing you lot on using it. Why is it that pensioners live way below the poverty line? Why? Because they simply don’t care. Why don’t they make a positive move towards removing this country’s dependency on oil and other fossil fuels? Why? It’s because they make so much of their own income from you humans using it. Why is it that the public aren’t encouraged to have their own personal wind turbines? Why? Because they simply wouldn’t make anything from it for themselves in taxation. Further, the powerful lobby that are the energy giants would simply complain about their own loss of big fat profits. And, would you lot care? Too damned right you wouldn’t.

I’m off around the garden while it’s still fairly warm. Not only this, but I’m getting hungry again. So, until next time, Bye all…

Froggy

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It’s a miracle

Yes, these must have been the first words and thoughts of Bankers and their ilk, when they discovered that the British government were not only going to bail them out, but to let them go completely unpunished for bringing the country’s economy to its knees. The cheek of it all is that they insist on remaining in total control of their businesses as if nothing had happened. And you humans believe that doing wrongful things doesn’t pay, nonsense! If you were born in what now turns out to be a privileged section of British society, you can get away with just about anything you care to lay your hand at doing. Croak!!!

I understand from Bob, our wonderful gardener, that Jacqui Smith’s maths don’t quite add up these days. Why, I hear you bleat? It’s simple, this country has 600,000 job vacancies and approximately 1.6 million unemployed. Now, as most of you are clearly aware by now, I’m just a frog, but even I’m aware that 1.6 million does not go into 600,000. Even by fiddling the figures and with the unemployment figures set to rise due to the chaotic economy and growing recession, you’re still going to end up with massive unemployment figures no matter how you look at them. Of course, those of you who are unlucky to find yourselves without a job, will at some time be confronted by a not so friendly face at your local jobcentre. Further, someone there will insist that there’s thousands of jobs out there if you’re willing to look for them, and when you tell them it’s not true, they will treat you like a piece of shite from that moment onward. What utter contempt for you! For those who are misinformed when they are confronted by this situation, you can tell them, “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.” Croak!!! Croak!!!

I also understand that many of the lower classes among you, are, and I hate to say it, going to see your energy bills go through the roof this winter. It’s tough I know, but the odd thing is this, your government really doesn’t give toad’s crap about what your needs are, nor if you and your family freeze your cods off when the cold weather really sets in. Why should they, when their annual pay, including all those massive perks, amounts to well nigh on two-hundred thousand pounds. They don’t even live in the same world as you lot. As usual, it’s in their interest to make sure that these huge energy companies get massive profits from you lot, since however high these costs to you go, the government will be able to reap the tax from your bills and at the same time turn their heating to a very comfortable tropical level, with the added ability to pay their bills with a broad beaming smile. Even the energy watchdog hasn’t got any teeth to bite with, and if it had, why bite the tender hand that pays you a nice fat salary over the years? Come on, wake up you lot!!!

Sadly, Britain has become a more class ridden society than ever before, one where its lower classes are treated with utter contempt by those who somehow considered themselves to be better than everyone else. Let’s face it, where else can you find a society that rewards those that bring a country to its knees? Every time you vote these people into office, their sole concern is to make as much money for themselves and their own family as possible, and in doing so, forget that they are supposed to represent the people and this country as a whole, not just pick and choose where it suits them. Well, you lot are easily fooled into believing that what they do is done for you. Croak!!!

Bob says that the poverty line is one-hundred and fifty-one pounds a week. Now if the government was anywhere near interested in abolishing poverty in Britain, it would need to make sure that pensioners get another fifty-eight pounds a week increase just to get level with the poverty line. I’m sorry to have to inform him, since he’s my bestest friend in the whole garden, that the government doesn’t give a damn for the poor. To the government, the poor belong where they can’t do any real harm, although they’d likely prefer that they’d either lay down and just die, or join the many leaving Britain, just so long as these oiks don’t keep getting stuck under their feet, they‘ll feel happy. Croak!!!

Once again, your government is seen to take care of its own by handing out yet more peerages. What is it with the rich? Don’t they feel that they fit in society unless they’re dressing up in some clown’s suit and strutting the high stuff? I give up ever trying to understand the ways of you humans, I really do. Croak!!!

That’s it for this week’s soapbox, take care… if you can afford to.

Froggy

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Friends, acquaintances and fellow wanders…

I never was more happy than to see Bob with a broad beaming smile on his face. He was telling me that your government has done something positive towards the prevention of your economy falling off a cliff. Ribbit!!! And about time too. What is almost as good, it’s the fact that all of your major political parties are in agreement with each other, especially concerning this dreadful fiasco arising from the housing market and the greed of so many within your society today. You see, it is good to talk after all. :-)

So, to all of you doubting Thomas’s out there, stop thinking about your own sorry backsides and start believing in your market once again. Bob once told me that opportunities, the golden types, only arise very occasionally, so don’t go kicking this into touch at a time you can make it shine again. You go running scared again, like those pesky furballs that live around here, then you deserve to see your economy go into meltdown, understood? Ribbit!!!

I also understand that a good many of you, including local councils, and they should have known better, decided to put all of your savings into Icelandic banks. Why?? You know, one woman when asked why she did so, she responded in saying that the Iceland name was one on everyone’s lips. She quite obviously got mixed up and thought that they were referring to the Iceland food supermarket. Ah well, some people will never learn. Croak!!! All the same, it defies commonsense as to why anyone should choose to put money into a foreign resource, especially when they are most likely not to come under the protection offered by British banks. You may disagree, but let’s face it, at least the money placed in the right British bank would still be relatively safe even by today’s standards. Ribbit!!!

I understand that the US Presidential elections are gathering at a faster pace. Let’s hope that Palin doesn’t eventually become the President, otherwise she’ll most likely turn to hunting us frogs, then I’ll well and truly croak it!!!

Once again the Autumn is upon us again, but it doesn’t feel like it. Yes, it’s wet and slightly windy too, but it’s relatively warm out here in the garden. There’s still plenty of food slithering amongst the greenery for myself and my many offspring. Still, it can be difficult at times, even for us frogs, because not all seasons are full of plenty. Croak!!!

Talking of plenty, it does my feelings no good at all, when I hear from Bob that Britain’s pensioners are still living well below the poverty line. Has nobody within your government any shame at all? How can they treat what was the backbone of this country, so badly? All you youngsters most likely don’t feel that you should be thinking of the time when you retire, if and when your government lets you, that is. Let me tell you, if changes aren’t made today, then there will be no hope for when you too, get that certain age in the future. Have I ever been wrong? I know a whole lot more about the way you humans live than you may think. Croak!!!

Since things for you humans are looking up, I want to see a lot more smiling faces from now on, okay? Good! Well, that’s about it for this week, so until next time, bye…

Froggy :-)

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Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I’m a Believer

I’m your friend (famous last words) and I’m here to bring the message of the frog world directly into your homes. Yeh, really. J Anyway, right at a time when I was beginning to think that you humans couldn’t get any worse, Bob went and told me about the US vice presidential candidate nominated by Senator John McCain, governor Sarah Palin. Apparently, she believes in Creationism, proving once and for all that there is more Monty Python in her than anyone could have suggested. Ribbit!!!

I ask you, how is any other serious government going to have any faith in a country whose vice presidential candidate believes that the world was formed just 6,000 years ago, and that humans and dinosaurs roamed the Earth together? Crumbs, Frogs have been around a lot longer than that. Perhaps it’s that you shouldn’t expect quite so much from a country that makes movies like ‘The Land Before Time’, The Land That Time Forgot’ and ‘The Lost World’ and then go and believe everything they see in them. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and so on… but I wouldn’t want my life entrusted to such believers. Did you know that there are fairies in my garden, not just at the bottom, but everywhere? You’d all be truly surprised by what goes on in gardens after it gets dark each and every night. Ribbit!!!

You know, many of you out there still refuse to believe that a Frog can use a computer. Well, one day I’m going to prove it to you. Now, I never said that performing this mind boggling feat was easy, because it isn’t. And no, I don’t have a giant computer like Bob uses. Don’t be silly, I’m not strong enough to depress all of those huge keys on the keyboard. Mine is really quite tiny and it reacts to the slightest touch by my delicate little fingers. Fortunately, it has the ability to be connected to Bob’s PC, whereby this allows me to send my messages off to you each and every week. Neat eh? J Ribbit!!!

Bob says that your government is spending billions in order to spy on British society. Why? Well, they’ll tell you that it’s to make your society all the more safe and secure. Me, I believe that it’s just a means of using the prospect of potential terrorism against you, and to be able to manipulate the population in general. I know that you don’t believe me, well, ask yourselves this: why didn’t the British government work as hard to prevent the terrorists acts of the IRA when it was happening throughout mainland Britain? After all, this war against the British went on for a very long time, yet they didn’t get anywhere near as worked up about stopping that, did they? No, they just want to be able to spy on what you lot are doing, simply because it‘s a whole lot easier than doing the job they are supposed to be doing as your represented governing body. What will this do for your personal rights, privacy and freedom to live peaceably? Croak!!!

I sympathise with everything that you humans are having to put up with lately. It beggars belief to understand just why it is that certain sectors of your society are allowed to bring a whole country’s economy to its knees, and then be allowed to actually get away with it? Why is it that you reward humans for doing blatant criminal acts? I understand from Bob that out and out thieves would be put away in one of your prisons, even if they even so much as took a few miserable pounds that didn’t belong to them, yet here, in your society, those who are trusted more than anyone else can literally take billions, and then they are allowed to go Scot free, why? It strikes me that instead of people taking up the wrongful act of a common thief, they should invest themselves in a much better education, then go into the world of banking or high finance. It certainly pays a darned sight better than stealing a few pounds. That’s the way I perceive it anyway. Ribbit!!!

I think I’d better end on that note for this week. I do hope that everything gets better for you soon. I’ll catch you all again next time,

Froggy :-)

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Housey, housey…

All is very well for me in the garden lately. However, as Bob told me early today, a whole lot of you humans are being put through the grinder, and all because of the greed and selfishness that pervades a certain level of humanity. You may not think so, but I truly sympathise with the predicament you find yourselves in today. Being a frog, this allows me to view life through different eyes and perhaps it’s just as well that I can. Ribbit!!!

Quite unlike Bob, I’m not able to watch what you call television. Why, I hear some of you asking? Well, it’s because I tend to leave a filthy mess in Bob’s living room if I go in his house, something that derives from my living in the garden. But hey ho, that’s how things are and I enjoy it this way. Ribbit!!!

Anyway, had I been able to watch this television, I may have been able to warn you of your calamity much earlier than I did. Sorry! You must have realised by now that those of you who bought houses and thought that their value could only go up, had unfortunately made the biggest mistake of your miserable lives. This came about because of a sinister plot perpetrated by a few unscrupulous financiers. They developed a way to help themselves make personal fortunes and laugh at you all the way to their bank in the Caymans, or wherever. They didn’t give Toad’s crap whether it would help you to lose your homes when the bubble burst. You could have avoided this if you hadn’t believed all that hype spun at you by so many of those house selling television programmes. Bob tells me that they still show these on a daily basis, so it came as a surprise to learn that you lot still think that paying a quarter of a million for a house that’s worth fifty thousand squid, is still a good bet. Hey! Shake those cobwebs from what you call a brain! Croak!!!

What still amazes me after these past years of learning about you humans, it’s that Bankers fell for buying up all these mortgages hook, line and sinker from the American market, Why??? Great horny toads, Bob told me that normally you lot have to move heaven and earth to get them to lend money to you, and even when they do, you have to give them something that will make them have trust in your being able to pay them back. So why did they trust the American Financiers and Bankers when it was quite obvious to a blind man that what goes up in value, also goes down? And why give out one hundred percent plus mortgages to British buyers, when the market quite obviously couldn’t afford to keep up the payments when the interest rates went up? One of your children could have spelled that out to them. Croak!!!

Bob tells me that you lot are laying the blame for what’s now happening, the credit crunch and the housing crisis, onto the shoulders of your Gordon Brown. Get real! This isn’t his fault. If you must blame somebody for the falling markets and the credit crunch, lay the blame squarely where it truly belongs: on the shoulders of those greedy financiers, top bankers and all those dumb enough to want to buy houses with a mortgage much bigger than they could comfortably afford to take on. If this is you, then accept the blame for yourself and stop blaming others for your pathetic mistakes. Croak!!!

Did you know that nobody else in the whole world looks at houses in quite the same way as the British? It staggers me to think that you lot are prepared to mortgage your lives to the hilt, just so that you can show and tell everyone how much of a pratt you are. Bob says that you frown on renting a house, possibly because it’s never yours. But the way I see it, many of you who bought your houses in the current financial climate, are destined to lose them anyway. And even if you don’t, you’ll spend your life shelling out piles of money to put on a new roof when it gives up the ghost, as it will, and all along with countless other repairs that will want doing and paying for. Do you think that those who rent are concerned with these kinds of crippling costs? I know what I’d prefer, and this is to rent. Even rented accommodation can be passed on to your children when you die. Of course, I’m forgetting that the Brits love to sell their homes every few years, so, how is this saving money? When I look at the current market, those who rent have the least to worry themselves about. Ribbit!!!

Oh! And I forgot your obsession for buying more than one house to live in, not forgetting all of those holiday homes you seem to go crazy for. You know what? Bob would rather go to a hundred destinations for his holidays and stay in five star accommodation, not forgetting those who will wait on him hand and foot, thereby making his holidays all the more memorable, than buy some pathetic holiday home. Whose is going to watch your holiday homes while you’re not there to do it? Okay, so you can rent it out to holidaymakers for part of the rest of the year, that’s assuming that somebody doesn’t break in and squat on your precious property while you’re away. It’s little wonder that humans are so messed up today. Croak!!!

One last thing that has been on my mind for some time. Why is it that you Brits cannot do anything without that the Americans have tried and tested it first? Their latest mistake is a dandy…. Croak!!!

Well, I have to go, so, if you haven’t been kicked out of your job, and haven’t lost your home either, I’ll see you all again next time. I may seem harsh at times, but someone has to drill some sense into you, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s me…

Froggy :-)

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