Housey, housey…

All is very well for me in the garden lately. However, as Bob told me early today, a whole lot of you humans are being put through the grinder, and all because of the greed and selfishness that pervades a certain level of humanity. You may not think so, but I truly sympathise with the predicament you find yourselves in today. Being a frog, this allows me to view life through different eyes and perhaps it’s just as well that I can. Ribbit!!!

Quite unlike Bob, I’m not able to watch what you call television. Why, I hear some of you asking? Well, it’s because I tend to leave a filthy mess in Bob’s living room if I go in his house, something that derives from my living in the garden. But hey ho, that’s how things are and I enjoy it this way. Ribbit!!!

Anyway, had I been able to watch this television, I may have been able to warn you of your calamity much earlier than I did. Sorry! You must have realised by now that those of you who bought houses and thought that their value could only go up, had unfortunately made the biggest mistake of your miserable lives. This came about because of a sinister plot perpetrated by a few unscrupulous financiers. They developed a way to help themselves make personal fortunes and laugh at you all the way to their bank in the Caymans, or wherever. They didn’t give Toad’s crap whether it would help you to lose your homes when the bubble burst. You could have avoided this if you hadn’t believed all that hype spun at you by so many of those house selling television programmes. Bob tells me that they still show these on a daily basis, so it came as a surprise to learn that you lot still think that paying a quarter of a million for a house that’s worth fifty thousand squid, is still a good bet. Hey! Shake those cobwebs from what you call a brain! Croak!!!

What still amazes me after these past years of learning about you humans, it’s that Bankers fell for buying up all these mortgages hook, line and sinker from the American market, Why??? Great horny toads, Bob told me that normally you lot have to move heaven and earth to get them to lend money to you, and even when they do, you have to give them something that will make them have trust in your being able to pay them back. So why did they trust the American Financiers and Bankers when it was quite obvious to a blind man that what goes up in value, also goes down? And why give out one hundred percent plus mortgages to British buyers, when the market quite obviously couldn’t afford to keep up the payments when the interest rates went up? One of your children could have spelled that out to them. Croak!!!

Bob tells me that you lot are laying the blame for what’s now happening, the credit crunch and the housing crisis, onto the shoulders of your Gordon Brown. Get real! This isn’t his fault. If you must blame somebody for the falling markets and the credit crunch, lay the blame squarely where it truly belongs: on the shoulders of those greedy financiers, top bankers and all those dumb enough to want to buy houses with a mortgage much bigger than they could comfortably afford to take on. If this is you, then accept the blame for yourself and stop blaming others for your pathetic mistakes. Croak!!!

Did you know that nobody else in the whole world looks at houses in quite the same way as the British? It staggers me to think that you lot are prepared to mortgage your lives to the hilt, just so that you can show and tell everyone how much of a pratt you are. Bob says that you frown on renting a house, possibly because it’s never yours. But the way I see it, many of you who bought your houses in the current financial climate, are destined to lose them anyway. And even if you don’t, you’ll spend your life shelling out piles of money to put on a new roof when it gives up the ghost, as it will, and all along with countless other repairs that will want doing and paying for. Do you think that those who rent are concerned with these kinds of crippling costs? I know what I’d prefer, and this is to rent. Even rented accommodation can be passed on to your children when you die. Of course, I’m forgetting that the Brits love to sell their homes every few years, so, how is this saving money? When I look at the current market, those who rent have the least to worry themselves about. Ribbit!!!

Oh! And I forgot your obsession for buying more than one house to live in, not forgetting all of those holiday homes you seem to go crazy for. You know what? Bob would rather go to a hundred destinations for his holidays and stay in five star accommodation, not forgetting those who will wait on him hand and foot, thereby making his holidays all the more memorable, than buy some pathetic holiday home. Whose is going to watch your holiday homes while you’re not there to do it? Okay, so you can rent it out to holidaymakers for part of the rest of the year, that’s assuming that somebody doesn’t break in and squat on your precious property while you’re away. It’s little wonder that humans are so messed up today. Croak!!!

One last thing that has been on my mind for some time. Why is it that you Brits cannot do anything without that the Americans have tried and tested it first? Their latest mistake is a dandy…. Croak!!!

Well, I have to go, so, if you haven’t been kicked out of your job, and haven’t lost your home either, I’ll see you all again next time. I may seem harsh at times, but someone has to drill some sense into you, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s me…

Froggy :-)

Who Cares?

What strange weather we are having lately, but then we are experiencing climatic change, which according to my friends is something that will become more pronounced as the years advance. Personally, I don’t mind the rain at all, but these bouts of very hot sunny days are something else altogether. It’s playing havoc with my complexion. Croak!!!

As a lowly frog I’m glad that I don’t have to be concerned with how your politicians are messing about with your society. Of course, I can still offer you the benefit of my experience with some sound advice, but as with everything else I’ve spoken to you about, I doubt that you’d take any real notice of anything I tell you. Croak!!!

Bob has shown some concern about the way that Labour is going to the dogs(?), with their leader, if this indeed is what he claims to be, falling a great deal short of showing any form of leadership. Croak!!! Worse thing about this, is that he appears to have given up on shouldering his responsibilities, a situation that comes of accepting the position as Prime Minister, a position he fought tooth and nail to get. Now, just when things around him are getting a little tough, he seems quite happy to drop everything and to let the Tories have a go, hoping that they will find a way out of the mess he’s created. Poppycock!! The Tories are simply not capable of fighting their way out of a paper bag, let alone take on the responsibilities of running a country. Ribbit!!!

I find myself having to say something about these houses that many of you found a desire to buy. If what Bob tells me is correct, then you lot who paid far too much for your homes, well, to put it bluntly, you’re in for a shock! These houses, the ones you valued as being worth… oh, let’s say one-hundred and sixty-thousand of your pounds, well since they were only worth about sixty-thousand pounds a few years ago, it stands to reason that when the current prices fall even further than they’re doing at present, they are merely reverting back to their true value. It was only greed that pushed these prices upwards in the first place, and this stupid desire that teens and twenty year olds have in owning their own property. Surely even you have heard that these financiers who made millions out of selling on mortgages, are now being taken to court? Why? Because what they did was morally wrong. They sold mortgages knowing that you lot out there weren’t going to be able to pay them once the interest rates went spiralling ever upwards. They didn’t give a damn, they were in it for whatever they could make out of it all.

Unfortunately, this has had a knock on effect around the globe, with inflation rising and the credit crunch taking hold of every aspect of society. And now, simply because of the antics of a greedy sector of the public, everyone is having to suffer. Well, not quite everyone, because some, like Bob, are not really affected by this so-called crunch. Ribbit!!!

Bob invited me into his house last night, though I have to tell you, I prefer the surroundings of my pond any time of the day or night. Anyway, we watched a programme on his television, I like this gadget. How does he manage to get so many things inside such a slim box? Ah well, back to what I was talking about, the programme. It was all about something you humans enjoy eating, the sandwich. Now I don’t know about you lot, but I didn’t think that you humans actually enjoyed eating stuff when it’s been thrown on the floor. Welcome to my world. Ribbit!!!

If you enjoy eating your food off the floor, then just take a look at these tiny, but juicy little snacks. I’ll even save you a few if you’d like them?






Well, I’ll see you all again soon...


Froggy