Carbon Off-setting, The blatant lie.

I've decided to split this weeks blog into two parts, such is the content of what I have to say, so here goes...

According to what Bob has told me about the weather on a world wide scale, humans are up the proverbial creek without a paddle. He says that your media often speaks about how bad the weather has been both here and around the world, but neglects to mention that it's all due to global warming. Croak!!!

What you humans should be asking yourselves is: why are they avoiding to report the truth about the planet's weather systems? Oh, of course! It's all because you lot believe in what they call this money making plan called, carbon off-setting. Do you really believe what these idiots are telling you? Can't you believe in what your own eyes are telling you? Tornadoes, squalls and floods galore. What more needs to engulf your lives before you truly believe in what's happening out there, not only all around you, but elsewhere on this planet of ours? Croak!!!

Now, even as a humble frog I have to admit that I haven't heard of a much better, nor more lucrative money-spinning idea than that of Carbon Off-setting. It's a beauty! Ribbit!!! I once said that there are more gullible people living in Britain than anywhere else in the world, and clearly, I was absolutely correct. Ribbit!!! I'm right simply because you humans are dumb enough to believe that by growing a few trees, or call it thousands, or whatever, if it makes you feel better, that this will compensate for all that deadly carbon you insist on pumping into the atmosphere. Toad shite! If you believe this, then there really is no future for humans on this planet. The real truth is this: put a stop to your carbon emissions and do it today, or suffer the results of your selfish folly. Croak!!! Look at the signs around you. Are you one of those people who were sadly flooded out? Or, perhaps you lost the roof of your house or garage this week? Well, you're going to see a whole lot more of it happening in the future, if you don't do something and act against it, NOW!!!

Honour, Does It Mean Anything?

My second blog lines concern the honesty of your government. Bob tells me that he watched a programme on his television last night and it shocked him to the core.


This programme, Dispatches on Channel Four, informed him about the truth behind what your politicians are getting up to behind your backs. Of course, most of you now know that your pensions were stolen from you by a quick change in parliamentary laws when Labour came to power. And yet how many of you realise that when they took your pensions, they gave themselves incredibly fat pensions in return? These pension of theirs are being paid for by you, the tax payer. Croak!!! Is this truly honest and fair?

Worst of all, it's the fact that your politicians are buying second homes with their allowances, getting mortgages that once again are being paid for by the tax payer, YOU! If they sell off these properties, they can keep the profits too. Once again I'm proven to be right about what these politicians are doing. Now, whilst every single politician is not grabbing everything they can for themselves, there are a lot who are on, or near the front bench, who damned well are. They call themselves honourable gentlemen and women, and yet from where I'm sitting, I see very little that goes on in parliament as being truly honourable. Croak!!!

You're probably thinking that there is nothing you can do to stop this, and to be honest, some of you simply don't care. Well, those of you who do care, you can show your displeasure by showing a vote of "no confidence" in your government. And please don't think that by voting one of the others into power, all this will change, cos it won't! So, when the next round of elections, local or national, come around, simply Don't vote!!! Of course, you can remain anonymous by going to the polling station and putting your ballot paper in the box, but just don't mark it. Only by doing this, will you put a stop to these incredibly unfair actions by certain politicians. After all, aren't these people voted into office to act on your behalf? They certainly weren't voted in so that they could just feather their own nests. Can you honestly say that they have ever done something good for society as a whole? Croak!!!

Remember this: Voting, or not voting, it's the only power you have over these people and what they do...

Well, I've let off enough steam for this week, so, stay safe and I'll be back with you all again real soon,


Froggy

It's not all doom and gloom

While I've been standing guard over my progeny, Bob tells me that many of you have been running around like so many headless chickens lately. Apparently, it has something to do with one of your banks finding itself in financial difficulties. Good grief! It's only money you know. Ribbit!!! Despite what you humans think, there are things in life that are far more important than money. Oh! I'm sorry, but I forgot. Most of you plan to take as much of it with you as you can, when you go to meet with your maker. Geez!! And I thought I was a bit dumb...

Before you lot set me going, I wanted to show you a photograph of one of my growing progeny. Isn't he handsome? Just like his father :) ...Ribbit!!!





Now to get down to the nitty gritty, well, it is to a simple frog like me. Ribbit!!! Your government, bless their well intentioned little hearts, has once again been carping on to you lot about the green house effect and global warming. Aren't they always? Croak!!! Well, as usual they are always quick to place the blame squarely on your shoulders, and by this I'm talking about the consumer market and how you lot continually leave things around your house on standby. They tell you that it's contributing to global warming, and to be perfectly fair, it probably is. However, I must tell you that they should firstly place the blame on the manufacturers, not the humble consumer. Why? It's obvious, you can only buy what the manufacturer makes, and if they can't take control over what they make and stop building these standby modes into their stock, then the blame is solely theirs and theirs alone. Ribbit!!!

You humans are continually being told to put a stop to the causes of global warming, and so you should, and yet your government does absolutely nothing to make sure that this actually happens. They support the building of larger airports, which will put yet more planes into the sky, one of the worst causes of global warming. They give the okay to car/vehicle manufacturers to construct more and more gas guzzlers, thereby supporting the hypocritical oil industry, one of the worlds worst polluters of all. Oddly enough, they once again put the blame squarely onto your shoulders in all of these things, and yet in all honesty, they are the people who have the real power to put a stop to it all. Of course, they'll also keep on harping on about the fact that unless something is done to curb these things, the world is going to be in a hell of a state come 2050. Really? So they think you're all going to be okay until then? I don't think so! Croak!!! Lets face it, if global warming doesn't ruin this planet, then the asteroid that's on its way here most certainly will. Croak!!!

What with all you headless chickens(sorry Atyllah, no offence :)) running around, there appears to be a hell of a lot of sheep joining them as well. You humans should learn to speak up for yourselves, for your children and their children too. Your government isn't going to do anything for you, and why? Simple, they are far too busy feathering their own nests, rather than to be bothered about the idiots who were dumb enough to put them into power. This is politics for you. Croak!!!

Have you noticed lately that there's a bit of a chill in the air? Autumn is on its way again. I do hope that the winter weather isn't going to be as bad as the summer was. Croak!!

Well, that's about all for this week. Stay safe and I'll be back with you all again next time,

Froggy

Olympic Fiasco

Well, what can I say but I told you so... You humans are so trusting it's almost unbelievable. Croak!!! You know what, a toad is only slightly thicker in the lack of brains department than you humans are. I once spoke about the gullibility of you lot, and clearly, I was absolutely right! Ribbit!!!

I expect you're wondering where the Olympic games comes into what I'm going on about? Bob reckons that he's never known a time in British history when, if his memory serves him correctly, you lot are being led up the garden path. Thank goodness it's not my garden path. There are enough loonies around here as it is without having to put up with any more of them.

I don't seem to be able to understand your way of thinking? Why is it that when your government supported bid for the 2012 London Olympics, with funds that once stood at just under three billions of your pounds, it has now grown quicker than Bob's tomato plants? How can they justify what is currently a nine billions price tag in under two years, when there are still about five years left before the games start? Nothing for the games has actually been built yet, unless you count that monstrous carbuncle, the Millennium Dome? That's a giggle, Ribbit!!!

So, if I do my froggy calculations right, five more years equates to a blindingly huge increase in inflationary costs, it's surely going to see the overall price of these here Olympics, blossom to way over the eighteen billion pounds I predicted earlier this year? Croak!!!

S'cuze me while I take a dip in the pond, I've come over rather faint all of a sudden. You know what, I really don't know why I'm getting so concerned for you lot? You're adults, but you still do something stupid like this, well it's your mess, so clean it up. Ribbit!!!

Why is it that I'm not surprised to learn, when Bob told me, that those wealthy people who are behind the games, are all based in Monaco? Do none of you understand that it's just another means to avoid paying income tax. Seems to me that there's a lot of people going to make a hell of a bundle of money out of these Olympics, as many have already, while the rest of you dimwits will be wondering where all the money you hoped to get out of this has disappeared to? Croak!!!

Do you honestly think, by even the remotest chance, that these Olympic games are going to bring wealth and prosperity to Britain? Ah come on, even you aren't that thick, are you? I'll tell you what, if I'm wrong, I'll promise you here and now, I'll drink every fluid ounce of Bob's pond water. Now I can't say fairer than that, can I? I maybe a frog, but I am British none-the-less. Ribbit!!!

I still think that all of this money could have been put to much better use, than to feel proud about hosting a two week stint called the Olympic Games. Bob says that because of the ever spiralling costs of these games, many more worthy causes are being robbed of their share of the lottery money they should receive. Once again, I believe that this is your money they are taking? How can this be right? Bob says that when the war was over, you humans all pulled together and worked hard to make up for everything you lost. What a shame that you seem to have forgotten how to pull together...

A final word, once again Bob seems to have been at the scotch again, that's how I see it anyway. You see, he told me that when he said he saw an asteroid heading for collision with earth, he found it to be a dead insect on the front of his telescope lens. He's sorry that he once again got it wrong, there is a thumping great asteroid heading here. Well, at least it's been confirmed this time around. Croak!!!



That's all for now. See you next time,

Froggy

Gardening fools

A thought occurred to me recently, and being a frog it came as a surprise, anyway, it was one that showed me just how full of yourselves you human beings are. In this country, humans everywhere are competing with each other to create the finest garden examples known to exist. Unfortunately, humans believe that they are superior when it comes to creating what mother nature does the best. During summer in the evenings or at the weekends, the screaming sound of a thousand lawnmowers takes to the air all around us. Humans, bless their hearts, are once again cutting their precious garden lawns, a stripe this way, another that way, anything as long as it doesn't look like it's plain old grass or god forbid, untidy.

Once this chore is complete, don't forget the spirit level, I'm sure I saw a lump here and a bump there. Then and only then, the human will lazily wander around admiring his/her flowerbeds. Whoa betide the weed that dares to show itself in amongst the prize petunias or hybrid teas, lest the gardener be forced to hack at it with the hoe like some demented fool. How dare nature rear its ugly head in this paradise?

What about the new island bed, specially dug during the previous winter and now looking resplendent with the impressive, but rather showy hibiscus you planted a few years back? Isn't that next door's furball beneath its delicate blooms, digging up and scratting madly away at your prize sea of alliums, and lovingly sent by a favourite aunt? Croak!!!

And oh my, how wonderful your alpine rockery appears in the warm afternoon sunshine. Those thymes don't look so bad after all, do they? The whole lot blends in nicely against the new fern garden you planted a few years ago. Of course, the man at the garden centre omitted to explain to you that slugs simply adore the taste of your hostas, which is why you no longer have any. Ah well, never mind eh?

Isn't this the weekend you've chosen to open your precious plot to the public? Humans being what they are, will simply be dying to get their grubby little mitts on Mrs Popple, no! no! I'm talking about your amazing fuchsia, not the lady next door. Anyway, they'll be after your cuttings when they think you're not looking in their direction. Good grief, they'll take so many that you'll wonder if you had any plants in your garden at all, prior to their visit. It's so easy to forget that humans spend a great deal of their time with their eyes glued to the television, all carefully watching Gardener's World for tips on how to take and look after your precious cuttings, hopefully so that they won't wither and die before they manage to get them home and potted up in their cold frames. Croak!!!

Then there are those Dahlias you planted earlier this year, wow! Did you ever see such a finer display of the Bishop of Llandaff as these? Those tubers will be going left right and centre before closing time. Still, it'll save you the trouble of trying to prevent next door's furball from digging them up behind your back.

So, that's it, all that time and effort gone to waste and why? All because you humans think you can produce something better than mother nature does. Oh yes, you can improve on the overall appearance of flowering plants, but you'll never achieve the same glorious remarks as mother nature gets when one of you humans visits an alpine meadow, mountain ledge, forest glade or river bank. Not only that, but look at all the effort you have to put into what you do.... Ribbit!!!

Nature's carefree efforts

You really need to get out and about more often. See you next time,

Froggy