Ebay

Hello one and all,

That horrible freezing snow has now finally gone. With the weather turning warmer now, I've been spending a lot of my time in hopping around the garden and enjoying everything there is about it. I have an odd feeling that those lady frogs I spoke to you of once, will soon be searching for a suitable mate (me, in case you hadn't thought about it.). I tell you this, I'm fairly raring to get at it.... Ribbit!!

Bob's back and he's his usual cheerful self again, thank goodness! This week he's been telling me something about a human auction thingy called eBay, whatever in my little world that is? Anyway, he carefully explained to me that it's a very popular means for humans to sell or buy goods and so forth. Of course, if I want something, I'd just go out and take it. Apparently, Bob says that humans can't just go out and take what they want, though some do, but they should have to pay for it. I guess that he must be talking about money again, which as I've discovered over the months, is something you lot are prepared to do just about anything to get a hold of it, and I truly do mean anything...

Bob says, when he first discovered eBay, humans could achieve tremendously high prices for the items they sold, even the junk that was put on it! Now, all of this has completely changed. The bottom has finally dropped out of the market. He says it's okay if you want to sell your precious belongings for peanuts, because the way everything is now, that's just about all a seller can now expect to receive in return. He also says that many sellers are bumping up the final price of the items bidders are interested in, by putting exorbitant post and packing costs on them, just so they can maximize the amount they truly want for their items. That doesn't seem very fair to me, or is it just because I'm a simple frog, one who doesn't understand how much you humans like to cheat on each other all the time? Sounds like a bit of a rip-off if you were to ask me?

Another thing about eBay is their own pricing structure, something you pay to use their services. Bob suggests that they are now getting far too greedy, because eBay is taking more and more now for what it gives in return. I'm told that this has something to do with their success. I informed Bob that you humans should go and try another of these auction sites if you aren't happy. But he says, you humans always like to moan and groan a lot, and as usual, you aren't really prepared to do anything to make life better for yourselves, even if this could mean that you could make a lot more of your money by doing so. Now I damned well know you're a strange lot!!! Croak!! You lot lazy or what? Perhaps you enjoy a spot of self-denial?

Finally, I've come to a particularly nasty side of buying or selling through eBay. They have a payment system known as PayPal. Now, Bob explained that this system was put into place in order to make paying for items won on their site easy. Bob says that despite the number of complaints that have been made regarding PayPal, eBay have tended to ignore them, preferring to believe that they have a fool proof method to settle a deal. Bob says, Horse crap!!

Bob also says that if you lot were to go and take a look at the eBay Discussion Board (Community Q&A Board), you would see proof that PayPal doesn't always work. Not only this, but these messages would suggest that the PayPal system is there to help crooks flourish, since many eBayers have been robbed by those who cheat by making use of the Chargeback scheme offered under the consumer credit act. For those of you who don't understand what this means, please allow this simple frog to explain what happens.

Seller A places an item for auction. Buyer B makes a successful bid and offers to pay for the item through PayPal. Okay so far? Good! Let's say that the item in question is sold for one hundred of your pounds. The transaction goes ahead and a few days later, the Buyer B receives his/her auction item. Seller A considers that the transaction has gone very nicely and therefore thinks no more about it. However, Buyer B, without at first notifying the seller, demands a chargeback through PayPal by using some sort of fictional excuse that the goods weren't what they had expected, perhaps damaged (but not in reality.). This is something that the credit act allows by law. Do you see where this is going yet? No! You are a hard lot to understand. Well never mind eh!

A few days pass by and Seller A discovers that Buyer B has performed this chargeback. Buyer B explains that he/she has returned the item to the Seller A and why it was done, but he/she has no proof that it was ever posted. The result is, Seller A not only loses his/her goods but also the money he/she has shelled out for it. Buyer B is a winner all round by keeping the goods and the money too! And this is all legal! Well, almost anyhow. Of course, this isn't the only way to lose money through PayPal.

Some have been cheated from their money with so-called goods said to have been put onto eBay that simply do not exist, like something you call plasma tvs, photographic items and many other high priced goods. I'd hate to even consider how much money has been lost to honest people through using what is on the outside, an honest way to secure goods and services? Now, the scammers are having a good time at your expense and a whacking great loophole in eBay's way to do business. Croak!!

If you don't believe what I've just explained to you, then it's little wonder that you're all part of the gullible human society you live in...

All of this makes my own world sound like it is a paradise, which I'm damned sure it is! Ribbit!!

Well, once again, time has caught up with me, so...

Stay safe and take care, hope to see you all again soon...


Froggy

UFO

Hello one and all,

For the first time in months I been feeling excited! And why should a frog like me feel this way, I hear you ask? It's simple really. While I was out exploring my garden domain this afternoon, where believe it or not, the sun was doing it's best to melt all the snow that's fallen recently, I had a wonderful surprise. A friend of mine, who I haven't seen in a very long while, came to visit me. Of course, he's not as handsome as I am, and he is... well, he's a slightly different colour than me. He's got orange/red blotches with bluish stripes. No, they are not go faster stripes! It's just a form of camouflage that is ideally suited to the habitat he lives in.

Anyway, he came while I was hopping around the place and watching out for my deadly enemy, the dreaded furballs. I was also on the lookout for a tasty morsel or two, which wasn't exactly easy given the amount of snow that's still here. As I was saying, there I was minding my own business, like you do, when I heard a strangely familiar sound. It's familiar because I knew what caused it, and it's strange because I know that you lot wouldn't believe what it is if I told you. Oh botheration! I'll let you into a secret: it's a UFO.... honest, Ribbit!! Now come off it, don't you start laughing at me.

Let's face it, Bob tells me that you lot see them as UFOs, so you should be used to seeing or hearing about them. Well, to frogs like me, and other highly intelligent beings, it's an extra-terrestrial inter-galactic conveyancing transporter. Unlike you lot and your UFOs, we know precisely what they are, and... I've even had a ride in one of them, so there, blah!!

Now, I doubt that any of you have ever actually seen one of these EICTs, and do you know why? It's because they are small, less than forty centimetres across with scarcely room enough for ten at a squeeze. It's not one of those great big machines, you know the sort, the ones that go around destroying whole civilizations, oh goodness me no! The reason you wouldn't have seen one is because it travels faster than the blink of an eye, well, human eye anyway.

Returning to my friend, and since I don't want to throw your ignorance back in your faces, he's on what you'd call a luxury cruise. So far, he's taken in six-hundred and four star systems and twelve galaxies including this one. Great eh!? He asked me if I'd like to go with him and visit his home, a sort of frog exchange. I said, what!? And run away from all of my responsibilities here on good old planet Earth? Not on your life! Croak!!

It took some time, but he finally understood what I'm attempting to do here for you lot. Who else is going to show you the error of your ways if I run out on you? Not only that, but I just couldn't go and run out on my friends. Ribbit!! As it happens, he knew that I'd have trouble enough on my tiny hands explaining about his method of transport to you lot, so, here I am. As for my little friend, he's gone again. Said he couldn't for the life of him understand why I should want to live amongst a lot of misfits. I told him that after a while, he could get to like you lot too. Obviously, he doesn't feel the same way about humans as I do... So, that's that!

By the way, Bob has reluctantly given up working on his invisibility thingy. He considers that it's far too dangerous a machine for anyone, especially him, to be messing around with. Shame really, 'cos I sort of fancied the idea of using it myself. Ribbit!!

Well, it's time I went back to my cosy little home, so...

Stay safe and take care, and do drop by again soon...


Froggy

Is This Humanity?

Hello one and all,

I'll begin by saying that snow has finally given the garden a frosty covering, and the pond is completely iced over, all despite Bob's attempts at defrosting it with hot water. Some of his tasks are simply not worth his effort, since it is so cold that he's fighting a losing battle in trying to keep the water ice free.

Normally I find myself, as a common garden frog, being amused by the amazing antics you humans seem to get up to, Bob included. But since I had a serious conversation with Bob earlier today, he told me something that I find incredibly difficult to believe, especially where you humans and your society is concerned. You appear to have your priorities, morally and otherwise, in all the wrong places. In short I was shocked by what I was told...

Bob explained to me that you lot are holding something you call, the Olympic games. This, I understand, is to be held in your capital city of London in 2012. Not only this, but he also says that these games, once the building of the site of the games is complete, is likely to cost in excess of eighteen billion of your pounds, 18B!!! Croak!! Why, I'm pretty sure that this is more than he gets for his miserly pension. Anyway, once he had explained everything that these games involve, I understand far more than I ever did before what really makes you humans tick. Greed!!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure that you have a very good excuse for wanting to host these games, but words fail me to understand just what this could be? From what Bob once told me, you humans in Britain have tens of thousands of people living on the streets, simply because they are unfortunate not to have a home of their own. Even a simple frog like me has a place I can happily call my home. So, one of you lot please tell me this: Why are you willing to spend so much money on an event that will be over in less than probably two weeks, when so many live on your streets? Have you no compassion? Is there not a single trace of charity in your human hearts and souls? Do not these people deserve to live as you do with a roof over their heads and a warm place to lay their heads at night?

Bob told me that humans were religious people, but I have to wonder how can this be so, when you are willing to do so much for these games, and yet not lift a finger to help your fellow humans in their suffering? I suppose you go to your church now and again, perhaps weekly, just so as you can have a clear conscience on judgement day. How self righteous is that! I must remember to ask Bob if all humans are like this? I mean let's face it, anyone who supports the spending of what will be mostly public funds on what I see as being such a trivial event, and don't damned well tell me it's not trivial! Then my faith in human nature has changed considerably from what it was. Croak!! I know that Bob feels the shame of all this madness, I wonder if you do too?

Of course, if you support these games, likely as not you don't give a furball's arse about the homeless. I expect that you think they are there all because it's their own fault? Wake up!! Any of you can lose your home and for any one of a thousand reasons. Is this then your fault? All I see about humans is this constant companion of yours known as greed! You are a nation of takers... Try giving for a change, you could actually get to like it.

I need to be convinced that humans are not all greedy, selfish people. Even so, I guess that you simply can't help being this way, so, until I'm persuaded otherwise, I'll say bye for now...

I'm trying very hard to be your friend,

Froggy

Life is...

Hello one and all,

What have you humans done to the weather? Now, don't get me wrong, but the way the weather is it affects the way I live. I cannot help noticing the absence of that flaky white stuff you lot call snow. You see, if I venture out on a snowy day, which in all honesty is highly unlikely, being a frog with sensitive and tender body parts, it allows me to see where any of my enemies have walked and are likely to be hiding. There is nothing quite so terrifying, as some of my friends could testify if they were still with us, than being pounced upon by one of those monstrous four-legged furballs, only to be ripped apart limb from limb. Croak!! So you see, snow does have some benefits, even if it is only to us frogs.

I wanted to give you my opinions on what I think about your lives as humans. Unfortunately, I haven't seen Bob lately. I'm not sure whether it's because he's using his invisibility thingy, and he's keeping quiet about it, or he's gone off for a few days. Perhaps he's had an accident? Croak!! There again, I wonder if he's done something with his invention that means he'll stay invisible forever? I mean, he could be laying somewhere and I'd never ever find him. I hope not, because I don't know what I'll do if this has happened. He's so kind, and not only this, he does so much for me too.

Sometimes I wish that he would stop playing around with his silly inventions, but then he once told me that you humans enjoy exploring the great unknown. The way I see it, these things are best left unknown!

Oh happy day!!! Bob has just come into the garden. Ribbit!! Now perhaps I can find out where he's been and just what he's got to say for himself?

Well, I was right! He has been tampering with that invisibility thingy again, only this time it rendered him unconscious for several hours. Fortunately, where he is concerned, he was inside his house when he started to fiddle about with it. He says that it took the rest of the day before the effects wore off and he could see himself again, and even so he suffered a long bout of nausea. I'd give him a piece of my mind, but he wouldn't know what to do with it if I did.

Bob says that it was 6°C in Moscow today. Apparently, the people who live there, wherever that is(?) well, how should I know, I'm just a simple frog! Anyway, as I was saying, they normally endure freezing temperatures of around minus 26°C and lower. Well, if ever you humans needed real proof of global warming, then I would say that you should look no further than what's happening in Moscow. Even the bears are too warm to hibernate! Now, doesn't this ring a familiar bell in your ear? It's just like me, silly! I should have been tucked up in my bed a long while ago...

Onto another subject now. Bob explained to me about an odd creature that walks and stalks the streets where you live. Apparently, it's something that puts the fear of god into those who are very unfortunate to have to confront it, the hoodie! Now, I'll be frank with you all, if this is what I once saw strolling down a road near here, then I'm not surprised that they scare you, it was enough to nearly frighten me plumb to death. Lordy, life can be cruel because it was so damned ugly too! If you want my honest opinion? Never mind, I'll give it to you anyway. I can now understand why they hide under those hoods. I mean, let's face it, if you looked as ugly as they do, wouldn't you do all that you could to hide yourself away? Too damned right you would! Ribbit!!

It's going to take me a while to catch up with the rest of the news, so I'll say bye for now...

Stay safe and take care, do drop by again soon for more of Bob's, and mine, amazing revelations...

Your friend,

Froggy

I've Seen The Light...

Have you ever had one of those days when strange things happen around you? Well, being one of your average friendly frogs, I come across lots of strange things when I'm out and about exploring the garden where I live. My friend Bob is what many, and even myself would call, a real character. I don't mean that he's out of his tree, or anything like that. It's just that he never ceases to surprise me with the things he gets up to from time to time. He has always been what in human terms is known as an inventor, though some may say, an eccentric. Actually, from way down at my level, I think he's quite clever at what he does. I mean to say that if every one of you humans is anywhere near as clever as he is, then I truly fail to understand why you lot are in such a sorry state at the moment?

As I was saying, Bob is a bit of an inventor. He's made this, well, I'd call it a perpetual portable sun machine with magnets and poles and things. To Bob, it's just a motor that never stops. Don't ask me for precise details, this is way over my head and, well, I'm just a simple frog! Anyway, during the winter time, he uses it inside his shed as a means to provide a miniature sun, along with his power tools. He says that it all works without it costing him a single penny. Now isn't that clever? You know what? This will mean that he'll no longer have to pay those greedy utility companies. Although it's something that helps him to see during the darker hours of winter, he says that he wants to see if he can build a much bigger one and fix a much bigger dynamo to it, something that he hopes will also provide him with light and heating around his house. He's still working on this side of it. Let's face it, anyone who can capture the sun and use it inside a shed has my greatest admiration, I can tell you.

Now, knowing Bob like I do, he probably won't like me telling you about another of his inventions, perhaps the oddest of them all, but only because it looks like it's a bit dangerous, specially after the first time he switched it on. Now if I understand you humans correctly, this has got to be one of those things that is surely got to be worth a lot of money. Bob has never been a wealthy man, in fact, he's always considered himself to be quite poor. You pensioners will know what I mean. Well, he said something about not being able to afford the patent for it, which, he tells me costs something like thirty-thousand pounds. Wow!! Now that sounds like a lot... doesn't it? What the heck is a patent? Why is it that you humans always have to make your lives so difficult all the time? He says that he's scared that someone could steal this idea from him, then go out and make tons of money from it. I told him that if he is so concerned about this, then he should use the drawings he made of it as toilet paper or something. He says that he'll think about it.

The trouble with me, even as a frog, I've got a bit of a blabber mouth. Yes I have, and you lot know it. I'm not sure that I should even be telling you lot this much, but if I had just an hour's use from it, I would teach all those mangy furballs around this garden, who the damn boss is. Believe me, they wouldn't even see me coming. Ribbit!!

Bob told me that it's his thingamajig, and it has the ability to bend light. Now, I know that I'm just a common or garden frog, certainly a garden frog anyway, but no matter how much I tax this tiny brain of mine, I really can't understand how anyone can hold light in their hands and then, bend it? I could be wrong, but perhaps Bob is finally losing his marbles after all? Surprisingly, as it happens, I was standing close by the first time Bob turned his little machine thingy on. His face turned a really funny colour, then it nearly knocked him feet over apex and into the side of the shed, but luckily, it did little more than stun him and make him violently sick. Shame really, he vanished for a few seconds, so we both know that it works. I feel sure that it could provide him with some money, but upon reflection though, perhaps this invention isn't such a good idea after all? I wouldn't like anything horrible and nasty to happen to Bob, specially if it was to harm him... I'd lose my bestest friend. Croak!!

Bob reckons that there's no money in inventing things these days. He says that everyone wants something for nothing, so what's the use of trying to make the world a better place? The more I learn about you humans and the way you treat each other, I would have to agree with what Bob is saying on this subject.

Stay safe, mind how you go, and do drop by and see me again soon...

Froggy

Profiting from your taxes

Happy New Year one and all...

Bob has suggested that I begin my blog with this greeting. Since I am a simple frog, I'm not sure what this truly means to you, unless it has something to do with continuing with the spirit of your recent Christmas? If it is, then I think that I'm beginning to understand what being a human is, at long last. Ribbit!!

I have to tell you that Bob's a little under the weather this week. Apparently, he's caught a cold! Now, I'm not sure that I know the meaning of this? Is this like catching a bus? No!! Then I'm afraid it has me completely baffled.

With the new year beginning, I'm at a loss as to what is happening to the weather. It's normally far too cold to come out into the open, but for some reason it's still quite warm around the garden. Of course, this is actually quite nice where I'm concerned. It's really quite pleasant to lay back and watch the world go by. Where do I do this? It's from my hiding place under one of the wood piles that are scattered around the garden for my use. By the way, I must just mention that I haven't visited the pond lately. Why? Because that's something we frogs do at this time of the year. Now, I'll let you have some exciting news. When spring begins to show itself with flowers popping up all over the garden, and those sexy female frogs start to swim around the pond in the slightly warmer evenings trying to look nonchalant, I'll be there to do my bit to prolong froggy kind. Oooo! Aaaa! This warms my loins up just to think of it. "Ribbit!!" Wassamarrer... Don't tell me that you're offended by the thought of the S.E.X word? Shame on you!!

Fair enough then, I'll change the subject, just to save your embarrassment, okay? Anyway, Bob was telling me about something that I, as a fairly intelligent frog, find rather odd. It's that your privately owned railway companies, remember, privately owned! are actually being subsidized to the tune of millions of pounds from your taxes just to help increase their profits. I smell something wrong here... and I can assure you, it's not me!

So... I have to ask you all a very important question: why is it that after these companies have already raised their exorbitant fares, yet again, that you lot have to further subsidize their growing profits with even more of your money? As a frog, doesn't it make better sense to renationalise these railways again and free up this subsidy for more pressing uses? After all, since under this situation the railway doesn't need to make massive profits, something that as things are at present is being chased by a greedy minority, it stands that the fares themselves could actually be a darned sight lower than they are at present, and this would encourage more rail users. Right? If the government body, of whom most of you elected into office, really cares about you, the voters, which is not how it looks to me from where I'm sitting, then it would see sense and put the railways back into public ownership where they damned well belong. Other countries have made a success of their railways by running them for the public's benefit, so why hasn't this one? Now, go and ask your local MP this question...

Seems to me that being a human is fraught with endless complications, most being forced upon you by a non-caring government which has no idea what it's doing these days. Well, it's all but done my head in, so...

Stay safe, mind how you go, and do drop by and see me again soon...

Froggy