Ifrogman ifrogman

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

In Spite Of...

Hello one and all,

For the past few days I've been tucked away, busy trying to keep warm, but the cold weather was almost too much even for a little old frog like me. On top of everything else, I haven't seen Bob either. I guess that he's been busy celebrating these Christmas festivities with his family. I really can't blame him for not coming into the garden. After all, it has been what he calls "Brass Monkey Weather".

I hope that you all enjoyed yourselves? Me? I didn't even get a xmas card. Croak!!!
It's okay, I understand. Christmas is for humans, Gardens are for frogs...

While I've been sat here, I've tried hard to put my latest Blog together, yet it's not easy since Bob hasn't come to let me know what's happening in his world and away from my own. Of course, my world seldom changes from one day to the next during the winter. As it happens, I am a frog of leisure these days, you know. Why only the other day, one of those pesky furballs came prowling around, probably trying to catch one of the many birds that live around here. Now, although you may all think that it's so damned cute and cuddly, I, being a frog that is also cute and cuddly, had to make sure that I didn't end up as its Christmas dinner. Croak!!! Anyway, as it happens, Bob says that he took a photograph of this particular furball recently, so, I'll allow you to discover it along with this thrill a minute Blog.








With Christmas now over, I hope that you all received lots of wonderful gifts from your loved ones? I didn't get anything at all, you know!!! Well let's face it, no one loves a frog that much. Croak!!!

For those among you who were fortunate to receive your first PC for Christmas, and maybe you're discovering Blogs for the first time too, let me tell you about a well-known, often used myth among you humans. Somewhere, as you plod along life's little highway, you lot will come across a now classic statement, or excuse, depending on just how you tend to look at it. Bob explained to me that more and more of you, especially those who work in the civil service (whatever that is?), frequently tell those whose lives depend upon whatever they are being asked to do for you on your behalf, that their computer has upped and swallowed some vital bit information (to you, that is.) and that nothing can be done to help you. Blaming their computers is becoming a full time occupation for these people, and yet any person with even a miniscule brain would tell them that, (a) there is not yet a computer in the world that is capable of thinking for itself, let alone doing something without some kind of human intervention. And, (b) they will never ever admit to you, that they were the one who cocked up the task in the first place, and by rights, should accept the full blame for being inept in the first place. The worst thing is, these people get paid huge sums of money for making king-sized blunders on your behalf... Ribbit!!

Well, the year will soon be over, so...

Stay safe, mind how you go, and do drop by and see me again soon...

Froggy

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Spirit Of...

Hello one and all,

I like Bob, he's a veritable mine of information. He was trying to explain to me that some of you humans will soon be celebrating Christmas. I don't know what that is, but it sounds pretty good according to Bob. He says that there is a spirit of Christmas, which to many is a special feeling, while to others, it's an open bottle of whisky after you've had a few drinks from it. Ribbit!!

He also told me that you humans like to decorate the inside of your houses with fairy lights and so on, some even put them on the outside, though I fail to see the actual reason for doing this? Are you hoping that aliens from another planet will see your property from space? Believe me, they won't want to come to anywhere near you. I maybe a simple frog, but I have heard of those movies, you know, the ones where you capture the alien, then you cut them up. I'm told that it's just to see what makes them tick. Now... that does sound familiar. Croak!!!

Bob says that for your human children, a strange man sporting a big fluffy white beard and wearing a bright red costume with massive great boots comes down your chimney... and then... he steals into your kids bedrooms in order to leave them gifts. Sounds fairly okay so far. Then he hops onto his sleigh, which is apparently parked up on your roof, then he goes off into the night to deliver more of his cherished Christmas gifts. Do you humans truly believe in all that guff? And I always thought my life was strange! Ribbit!!

Anyway, while you are all enjoying this festive season, I thought I'd tell you something else that Bob spoke to me about the other day. According to official statistics, it costs two thousand pounds a week to look after a child living in a local authority home. (Is this a lot?) Your government, in its wisdom, doesn't understand the reason why young children leave their homes, or the true reason why families split apart? Bob reckons that if most of your government ministers don't, or can't understand the reasons behind these facts, it's because their own incomes are so grossly high, they couldn't even begin to understand how the poorer families live. And what is often the greatest cause behind the breakdown of families in this country? It's money, of course!! Or, to be much fairer, it's the lack of it that sets the ball rolling. It doesn't matter whether you are living on one hundred thousand pounds a year, ten thousand or a damn sight less. All humans have to pay the same money for the essentials: Food, Energy, Clothing, Footwear, and so on. Now, with this in mind, who do you think would be the happiest of people in your society?

Now, as Bob said, it costs two thousand pounds a week to keep a young person in a local authority home, got it? Right, now how much do you suppose the government contributes towards these same parents each week, to help bring up these same children if they were living in their own homes? Two thousand pounds? One thousand pounds? Five hundred then? Okay, okay, fifty pounds a week? No! No! No! and No! again... It's a little over eight mean pounds a week. incredible, I say!! I don't know about you, but it seems to me that under these circumstances, a child is financially much better off living in one of your local authority homes, than with their natural parents who are, through no fault of their own, too poor to look after them themselves. It's bloody crazy! Croak!!

A change of subject now, before is does my poor head in. My friend Bob was telling me about Spam. He explained that I mustn't become confused between the tins of Spam, a delicious inexpensive meat (I hope that this has nothing to do with us frogs?), and unwanted and unwelcome emails. It is these emails we're concerned with. I understand that your great European government has banned the sending of unsolicited emails (Spam). Fair enough! The US of A has also banned the sending of Spam. Sounds pretty good to me! Ah ha! But there is the rub. The US of A is not banned from sending its Spam to people like you and Bob, which is why he receives tons of it, frequently advising him that he needs the mighty Viagra, which he says he doesn't, along with thousands of other crappy products that are of no use to man nor beast. I say, with friends like those in the US of A, who needs enemies? It's high time that they give us some respect...

Well, all of this has taken it out of me, so...

Stay safe and take care, do drop by again soon for more of Bob's amazing revelations...

Froggy

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Revelations

Hello one and all,

A few days ago, while I was hopping around the pond, minding my own business like you do, I spied a very large black and white bird, I think you humans call them Magpies(?), when it suddenly developed a bout of frenzied feeding on one of the fat balls put out by Bob. None of the smaller birds were put off by the Magpie's intrusion, since they carried on pecking at the hazel nuts like he wasn't even there.

Oddly, there has been a marked absence of those much hated feline beasts this last week. This has made for a particular peaceful period for a change. Ribbit!! I have to say that as usual, Bob has been very busy, bless his little cotton socks, tinkering around the garden. You gardeners know what I mean. He was tying up the odd plant here and there, and clearing away the last of the leaves to use as a mulch around the plants that are growing everywhere. He even removed the dead leaves from my pond. Isn't that nice of him?

With things being a little quiet around here lately, I decided to see what Bob has to say about the state of life among you humans. Now that should be worth a laugh or two. No disrespect intended. Ribbit!!

Well, he was watching his goggle box not so long ago, where, there was a programme concerning the National Trust. Is this something to do with you lot trusting one another? Hey! How should I know? I'm only a frog for goodness sake! Anyway, he says that it was about saving a Victorian pile in the country somewhere called, Tyntesfield. Apparently, it's a very long way from where we live. He went on to explained that this country pile, one whose masonry can be seen crumbling more and more as each day passes, was put onto the market for millions of your pounds. Okay so far... This National Trust wanted it's members to cough up the price of it, so that they could save it for the nation. I think Bob said they offered sixty thousand... Well, let me tell you, Bob not only thinks that it should have been left to fall down, but they shouldn't have used public money, without consultation, to buy it either. They even had millions of your lottery cash to help to prop up the funds for it. Croak!!

You know what? The only person to make a killing from the sale, was its former owner who, it is said, is laughing all the way to his bank. He must have seen them coming. Bob says that there are countless properties from the Victorian era in this country of ours, yet they had to save something that is not only falling down, but it's going to cost many millions more to do it up... How crazy is that? Still, I guess that as long as it wasn't the National Trust's money, they most likely couldn't really care less either.

Bob has explained to me, in words that I'm only just getting to grips with, that there are countless thousands of you humans living on the streets, yes! living on the dirty streets! Why? Because they don't have a home to go to. Have you humans got no heart at all? Stop and ask yourselves, what is more important to you lot? The right to have a roof over your head, preferably one that's not falling down like Tyntesfield? Which is saving something that none of you will ever likely own, and most likely will never see, either. Or, would you rather the money went towards building homes for those unfortunate to be without? Of course, my guess is that not many of you care in the slightest, since many of you lot lead the world in buying second, or even third homes for yourselves, such is the extent of your greedy human nature. I doubt that many of you were even aware of this country pile before I told you about it. After saying all this, it serves to remind me that you humans really have got your priorities wrong!

Despite that the government spent millions of your money on this project, there are still millions of humans living in council housing that even after repairs, remains cold and substandard. Why didn't they invest this money in supporting their so-called family values they pretend to care about? On top of this, can you imagine how many homeless people could have been taken off the streets with over seventy million pounds?

Let me ask you this, how many more worthless crumbling piles in the country are the National Trust, along with government support (your money!), are they willing to save, on the false pretext, that we actually need more of them? Isn't it best to help those who need support the most? The mind boggles, it truly does!!!

As much as I like you humans, you really are a sad lot from time to time...

Well, all of this has taken it out of me, so...

Stay safe and take care, do drop by again soon for more of Bob's amazing revelations...


Froggy

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

NIMBY

Hello one and all,

Just thought I'd let you know, I've had to keep my wits about me these past few days. It's never truly peaceful here in the garden, what with those pesky furballs sneaking around the place like they owned it. One in particular appears to think that it's some kind of bird. Why? Because it was perched high in one of the trees for a while. Now, contrary to what many of you humans have the habit to think, a cat can indeed climb up and down a tree no matter how big it is, and all without the need for you lot to resort to calling for the fire brigade every time you think that it's trapped up there. Fortunately, for the birds anyway, it soon got bored and climbed back down again, thereby leaving this lofty perch for the birds to enjoy.

Bob says, it's truly amazing just how many of you lot there are that don't believe in global warming. Personally, I think that it's because you're far too afraid of what may happen to you if you find out that it's all true. He says, those in charge of the country, are considering the practical side to burying CO² deep underground in caverns and mines. It's a shame that they don't appear to realise that this CO² could escape through the natural fissures and strata in the rock. Well, you know what they say, as long as they aren't considering putting it all under my garden, they are welcome to do whatever they please with it... Okay! Okay! So I'm a NIMBY, so what?

Once again, it's been warm enough to make flowering plants bloom. I cannot recall a December that was as mild as this one. For me personally, there's still lots in the garden for me to dine on, and I'm lovin' it. Ribbit!! Still, when January comes around, it'll most likely turn into brass monkey weather. If it does, I'm going to find somewhere that's real cosy to hide away in. I like mine just as they are...

I don't think I ever told you this, but the pond where I live hasn't got any fish in it at the moment. Bob tells me that he's going to buy some early next spring. He says that they like to gobble up the gnat larva that frequent ponds like mine. That's great! Cos I like a bit of fish now and again too. Ribbit!! That Bob, I tell you, he's so kind to me...

Of course, these fish may just attract that horrible bird with stilts for legs, ugh! Now, it's a well known fact that these beasties are quite partial to having frogs on their menu, Croak!! Life can be excessively hard at times, even for a simple frog like me...

Well, once again, it's time for me to go and hunt for my lunch, so...

Stay safe and take care, do drop by again soon...

Froggy