It’s a miracle

Yes, these must have been the first words and thoughts of Bankers and their ilk, when they discovered that the British government were not only going to bail them out, but to let them go completely unpunished for bringing the country’s economy to its knees. The cheek of it all is that they insist on remaining in total control of their businesses as if nothing had happened. And you humans believe that doing wrongful things doesn’t pay, nonsense! If you were born in what now turns out to be a privileged section of British society, you can get away with just about anything you care to lay your hand at doing. Croak!!!

I understand from Bob, our wonderful gardener, that Jacqui Smith’s maths don’t quite add up these days. Why, I hear you bleat? It’s simple, this country has 600,000 job vacancies and approximately 1.6 million unemployed. Now, as most of you are clearly aware by now, I’m just a frog, but even I’m aware that 1.6 million does not go into 600,000. Even by fiddling the figures and with the unemployment figures set to rise due to the chaotic economy and growing recession, you’re still going to end up with massive unemployment figures no matter how you look at them. Of course, those of you who are unlucky to find yourselves without a job, will at some time be confronted by a not so friendly face at your local jobcentre. Further, someone there will insist that there’s thousands of jobs out there if you’re willing to look for them, and when you tell them it’s not true, they will treat you like a piece of shite from that moment onward. What utter contempt for you! For those who are misinformed when they are confronted by this situation, you can tell them, “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.” Croak!!! Croak!!!

I also understand that many of the lower classes among you, are, and I hate to say it, going to see your energy bills go through the roof this winter. It’s tough I know, but the odd thing is this, your government really doesn’t give toad’s crap about what your needs are, nor if you and your family freeze your cods off when the cold weather really sets in. Why should they, when their annual pay, including all those massive perks, amounts to well nigh on two-hundred thousand pounds. They don’t even live in the same world as you lot. As usual, it’s in their interest to make sure that these huge energy companies get massive profits from you lot, since however high these costs to you go, the government will be able to reap the tax from your bills and at the same time turn their heating to a very comfortable tropical level, with the added ability to pay their bills with a broad beaming smile. Even the energy watchdog hasn’t got any teeth to bite with, and if it had, why bite the tender hand that pays you a nice fat salary over the years? Come on, wake up you lot!!!

Sadly, Britain has become a more class ridden society than ever before, one where its lower classes are treated with utter contempt by those who somehow considered themselves to be better than everyone else. Let’s face it, where else can you find a society that rewards those that bring a country to its knees? Every time you vote these people into office, their sole concern is to make as much money for themselves and their own family as possible, and in doing so, forget that they are supposed to represent the people and this country as a whole, not just pick and choose where it suits them. Well, you lot are easily fooled into believing that what they do is done for you. Croak!!!

Bob says that the poverty line is one-hundred and fifty-one pounds a week. Now if the government was anywhere near interested in abolishing poverty in Britain, it would need to make sure that pensioners get another fifty-eight pounds a week increase just to get level with the poverty line. I’m sorry to have to inform him, since he’s my bestest friend in the whole garden, that the government doesn’t give a damn for the poor. To the government, the poor belong where they can’t do any real harm, although they’d likely prefer that they’d either lay down and just die, or join the many leaving Britain, just so long as these oiks don’t keep getting stuck under their feet, they‘ll feel happy. Croak!!!

Once again, your government is seen to take care of its own by handing out yet more peerages. What is it with the rich? Don’t they feel that they fit in society unless they’re dressing up in some clown’s suit and strutting the high stuff? I give up ever trying to understand the ways of you humans, I really do. Croak!!!

That’s it for this week’s soapbox, take care… if you can afford to.

Froggy

Housey, housey…

All is very well for me in the garden lately. However, as Bob told me early today, a whole lot of you humans are being put through the grinder, and all because of the greed and selfishness that pervades a certain level of humanity. You may not think so, but I truly sympathise with the predicament you find yourselves in today. Being a frog, this allows me to view life through different eyes and perhaps it’s just as well that I can. Ribbit!!!

Quite unlike Bob, I’m not able to watch what you call television. Why, I hear some of you asking? Well, it’s because I tend to leave a filthy mess in Bob’s living room if I go in his house, something that derives from my living in the garden. But hey ho, that’s how things are and I enjoy it this way. Ribbit!!!

Anyway, had I been able to watch this television, I may have been able to warn you of your calamity much earlier than I did. Sorry! You must have realised by now that those of you who bought houses and thought that their value could only go up, had unfortunately made the biggest mistake of your miserable lives. This came about because of a sinister plot perpetrated by a few unscrupulous financiers. They developed a way to help themselves make personal fortunes and laugh at you all the way to their bank in the Caymans, or wherever. They didn’t give Toad’s crap whether it would help you to lose your homes when the bubble burst. You could have avoided this if you hadn’t believed all that hype spun at you by so many of those house selling television programmes. Bob tells me that they still show these on a daily basis, so it came as a surprise to learn that you lot still think that paying a quarter of a million for a house that’s worth fifty thousand squid, is still a good bet. Hey! Shake those cobwebs from what you call a brain! Croak!!!

What still amazes me after these past years of learning about you humans, it’s that Bankers fell for buying up all these mortgages hook, line and sinker from the American market, Why??? Great horny toads, Bob told me that normally you lot have to move heaven and earth to get them to lend money to you, and even when they do, you have to give them something that will make them have trust in your being able to pay them back. So why did they trust the American Financiers and Bankers when it was quite obvious to a blind man that what goes up in value, also goes down? And why give out one hundred percent plus mortgages to British buyers, when the market quite obviously couldn’t afford to keep up the payments when the interest rates went up? One of your children could have spelled that out to them. Croak!!!

Bob tells me that you lot are laying the blame for what’s now happening, the credit crunch and the housing crisis, onto the shoulders of your Gordon Brown. Get real! This isn’t his fault. If you must blame somebody for the falling markets and the credit crunch, lay the blame squarely where it truly belongs: on the shoulders of those greedy financiers, top bankers and all those dumb enough to want to buy houses with a mortgage much bigger than they could comfortably afford to take on. If this is you, then accept the blame for yourself and stop blaming others for your pathetic mistakes. Croak!!!

Did you know that nobody else in the whole world looks at houses in quite the same way as the British? It staggers me to think that you lot are prepared to mortgage your lives to the hilt, just so that you can show and tell everyone how much of a pratt you are. Bob says that you frown on renting a house, possibly because it’s never yours. But the way I see it, many of you who bought your houses in the current financial climate, are destined to lose them anyway. And even if you don’t, you’ll spend your life shelling out piles of money to put on a new roof when it gives up the ghost, as it will, and all along with countless other repairs that will want doing and paying for. Do you think that those who rent are concerned with these kinds of crippling costs? I know what I’d prefer, and this is to rent. Even rented accommodation can be passed on to your children when you die. Of course, I’m forgetting that the Brits love to sell their homes every few years, so, how is this saving money? When I look at the current market, those who rent have the least to worry themselves about. Ribbit!!!

Oh! And I forgot your obsession for buying more than one house to live in, not forgetting all of those holiday homes you seem to go crazy for. You know what? Bob would rather go to a hundred destinations for his holidays and stay in five star accommodation, not forgetting those who will wait on him hand and foot, thereby making his holidays all the more memorable, than buy some pathetic holiday home. Whose is going to watch your holiday homes while you’re not there to do it? Okay, so you can rent it out to holidaymakers for part of the rest of the year, that’s assuming that somebody doesn’t break in and squat on your precious property while you’re away. It’s little wonder that humans are so messed up today. Croak!!!

One last thing that has been on my mind for some time. Why is it that you Brits cannot do anything without that the Americans have tried and tested it first? Their latest mistake is a dandy…. Croak!!!

Well, I have to go, so, if you haven’t been kicked out of your job, and haven’t lost your home either, I’ll see you all again next time. I may seem harsh at times, but someone has to drill some sense into you, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s me…

Froggy :-)