It’s a miracle

Yes, these must have been the first words and thoughts of Bankers and their ilk, when they discovered that the British government were not only going to bail them out, but to let them go completely unpunished for bringing the country’s economy to its knees. The cheek of it all is that they insist on remaining in total control of their businesses as if nothing had happened. And you humans believe that doing wrongful things doesn’t pay, nonsense! If you were born in what now turns out to be a privileged section of British society, you can get away with just about anything you care to lay your hand at doing. Croak!!!

I understand from Bob, our wonderful gardener, that Jacqui Smith’s maths don’t quite add up these days. Why, I hear you bleat? It’s simple, this country has 600,000 job vacancies and approximately 1.6 million unemployed. Now, as most of you are clearly aware by now, I’m just a frog, but even I’m aware that 1.6 million does not go into 600,000. Even by fiddling the figures and with the unemployment figures set to rise due to the chaotic economy and growing recession, you’re still going to end up with massive unemployment figures no matter how you look at them. Of course, those of you who are unlucky to find yourselves without a job, will at some time be confronted by a not so friendly face at your local jobcentre. Further, someone there will insist that there’s thousands of jobs out there if you’re willing to look for them, and when you tell them it’s not true, they will treat you like a piece of shite from that moment onward. What utter contempt for you! For those who are misinformed when they are confronted by this situation, you can tell them, “Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.” Croak!!! Croak!!!

I also understand that many of the lower classes among you, are, and I hate to say it, going to see your energy bills go through the roof this winter. It’s tough I know, but the odd thing is this, your government really doesn’t give toad’s crap about what your needs are, nor if you and your family freeze your cods off when the cold weather really sets in. Why should they, when their annual pay, including all those massive perks, amounts to well nigh on two-hundred thousand pounds. They don’t even live in the same world as you lot. As usual, it’s in their interest to make sure that these huge energy companies get massive profits from you lot, since however high these costs to you go, the government will be able to reap the tax from your bills and at the same time turn their heating to a very comfortable tropical level, with the added ability to pay their bills with a broad beaming smile. Even the energy watchdog hasn’t got any teeth to bite with, and if it had, why bite the tender hand that pays you a nice fat salary over the years? Come on, wake up you lot!!!

Sadly, Britain has become a more class ridden society than ever before, one where its lower classes are treated with utter contempt by those who somehow considered themselves to be better than everyone else. Let’s face it, where else can you find a society that rewards those that bring a country to its knees? Every time you vote these people into office, their sole concern is to make as much money for themselves and their own family as possible, and in doing so, forget that they are supposed to represent the people and this country as a whole, not just pick and choose where it suits them. Well, you lot are easily fooled into believing that what they do is done for you. Croak!!!

Bob says that the poverty line is one-hundred and fifty-one pounds a week. Now if the government was anywhere near interested in abolishing poverty in Britain, it would need to make sure that pensioners get another fifty-eight pounds a week increase just to get level with the poverty line. I’m sorry to have to inform him, since he’s my bestest friend in the whole garden, that the government doesn’t give a damn for the poor. To the government, the poor belong where they can’t do any real harm, although they’d likely prefer that they’d either lay down and just die, or join the many leaving Britain, just so long as these oiks don’t keep getting stuck under their feet, they‘ll feel happy. Croak!!!

Once again, your government is seen to take care of its own by handing out yet more peerages. What is it with the rich? Don’t they feel that they fit in society unless they’re dressing up in some clown’s suit and strutting the high stuff? I give up ever trying to understand the ways of you humans, I really do. Croak!!!

That’s it for this week’s soapbox, take care… if you can afford to.

Froggy

I’m a Believer

I’m your friend (famous last words) and I’m here to bring the message of the frog world directly into your homes. Yeh, really. J Anyway, right at a time when I was beginning to think that you humans couldn’t get any worse, Bob went and told me about the US vice presidential candidate nominated by Senator John McCain, governor Sarah Palin. Apparently, she believes in Creationism, proving once and for all that there is more Monty Python in her than anyone could have suggested. Ribbit!!!

I ask you, how is any other serious government going to have any faith in a country whose vice presidential candidate believes that the world was formed just 6,000 years ago, and that humans and dinosaurs roamed the Earth together? Crumbs, Frogs have been around a lot longer than that. Perhaps it’s that you shouldn’t expect quite so much from a country that makes movies like ‘The Land Before Time’, The Land That Time Forgot’ and ‘The Lost World’ and then go and believe everything they see in them. Fair enough, everyone is entitled to their beliefs, and so on… but I wouldn’t want my life entrusted to such believers. Did you know that there are fairies in my garden, not just at the bottom, but everywhere? You’d all be truly surprised by what goes on in gardens after it gets dark each and every night. Ribbit!!!

You know, many of you out there still refuse to believe that a Frog can use a computer. Well, one day I’m going to prove it to you. Now, I never said that performing this mind boggling feat was easy, because it isn’t. And no, I don’t have a giant computer like Bob uses. Don’t be silly, I’m not strong enough to depress all of those huge keys on the keyboard. Mine is really quite tiny and it reacts to the slightest touch by my delicate little fingers. Fortunately, it has the ability to be connected to Bob’s PC, whereby this allows me to send my messages off to you each and every week. Neat eh? J Ribbit!!!

Bob says that your government is spending billions in order to spy on British society. Why? Well, they’ll tell you that it’s to make your society all the more safe and secure. Me, I believe that it’s just a means of using the prospect of potential terrorism against you, and to be able to manipulate the population in general. I know that you don’t believe me, well, ask yourselves this: why didn’t the British government work as hard to prevent the terrorists acts of the IRA when it was happening throughout mainland Britain? After all, this war against the British went on for a very long time, yet they didn’t get anywhere near as worked up about stopping that, did they? No, they just want to be able to spy on what you lot are doing, simply because it‘s a whole lot easier than doing the job they are supposed to be doing as your represented governing body. What will this do for your personal rights, privacy and freedom to live peaceably? Croak!!!

I sympathise with everything that you humans are having to put up with lately. It beggars belief to understand just why it is that certain sectors of your society are allowed to bring a whole country’s economy to its knees, and then be allowed to actually get away with it? Why is it that you reward humans for doing blatant criminal acts? I understand from Bob that out and out thieves would be put away in one of your prisons, even if they even so much as took a few miserable pounds that didn’t belong to them, yet here, in your society, those who are trusted more than anyone else can literally take billions, and then they are allowed to go Scot free, why? It strikes me that instead of people taking up the wrongful act of a common thief, they should invest themselves in a much better education, then go into the world of banking or high finance. It certainly pays a darned sight better than stealing a few pounds. That’s the way I perceive it anyway. Ribbit!!!

I think I’d better end on that note for this week. I do hope that everything gets better for you soon. I’ll catch you all again next time,

Froggy :-)