I'm taking over...

It has finally happened, our dear old friend, Froggy, has gone into hibernation for a while. He has asked me to tell you all that he'll miss all of you during the winter months, but being an amphibian, he was in bad need of a rest. Needless to say, he will be dreaming about his human friends and looks forward to meeting you all again in early spring.

Well, what can I say? I am just a gardener, what do I know about the political side of life? Precious little, I can tell you. Froggy sees the side of our politics, and human life in general for that matter, that someone like me just misses completely. It's not that I don't understand what it's all about, but Froggy has a certain way about him. It's a bit like saying that you're a brain surgeon, but you've never touched a scalpel in your life before. I can only apologize now, before I get started, because I don't want to lose all Froggy's friends, nor do I want to mess his blog up for him. He's a good honest creature and means no harm to anyone. Of course, I know that he is likely to go on a bit at times, especially when I'm out here doing my work in the garden, but that's the way he is.

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas and didn't get too drunk? Froggy missed it all, but then he doesn't really understand what Christmas is all about. Well, that's not quite true. He knows that we celebrate it according to our beliefs, but he cannot see where getting drunk has anything to do with it. He'll learn...

You know what? I'm going to try and do something to make his life a little safer in future. He feels plagued by the cats we have around here, they are always trying to catch him on the hop, pardon my pun ;) I'm going to try and make the garden a bit more cat proof, if ever this is possible? I ask you, what is the good in trying to encourage wildlife into the garden, if you're not prepared to do something to protect it?

You know, even though we are in the depths of winter, a bright sunny day will set the old gardening fingers itching to do something. I have a lot to do before Froggy comes out of his hibernation, so it'll be nice to continue clearing away the old detritus from the past year's growth, and plant some bulbs, shrubs and what have you while I'm at it, just to brighten up the place for his return. Froggy isn't bothered by whatever I decide to grow, but as long as it brings in an assortment of flying insects and some big fat slugs, then he's really quite happy. Of course, I'm not happy at having slugs around the garden, but as long as he eats them before they eat my prize veg, then I don't mind.

My biggest problem of the year, it's keeping the falling leaves out of the pond. It poisons the water if you let them sink to the bottom. This doesn't do any of the pond's wildlife any good. So, before autumn began, I placed some wire mesh over the water, and it worked a treat. Now I have a pond that has good sweet clean water. Froggy is going to be so pleased when he finds out about it.

Here's wishing you all the very best for the new year, 2008. When I return, I'll do my best to carry on in the caring tradition of Froggy and expose a few more blunders by our (not so) caring government.

Mind how you go now...

Bob

Loyalty? You want loyalty, then buy yourself a dog

The more I interact with humans, the more I'm getting to understand what it's like to be human. From what Bob has told me over the time I've grown to know and like him, I'm now pretty certain that to be human, it's to be greedy, selfish, mean, cheating, a liar and downright dishonest. I know, you think I'm wrong don't you? But read what I've got to say on the subject first, then I think you'll agree that as a frog, I've got it right. Ribbit!!!

Bob says that when the Thatcher government was in power, they did everything they could to undermine the true British way of life. What is worse, the present government appears to be taking over where the Tories left off. Firstly, they blamed the unemployed for the state the country was in. This is happening again. Of course, what they shamefully neglected to tell you, it's that it was their party which was responsible for growing numbers in unemployment anyway. Then, the Tories sold everything that actually belonged to you by right, the voting people of this land, and what's more, as national assets that were yours, you didn't benefit one single iota from any of these sales. Those energy and water companies, they were yours. BT Britain's huge and sole communications company, it belonged to you as well. You didn't get a single penny of any of this money, and what makes matters worse, they sold all of them off very cheaply, this was so that their wealthy friends could go out and buy up as many shares as they could damned well afford. In fact, they gave your tax money as sweeteners, incentives if you like, just to make sure that these companies would have investors take more than just a close interest in buying them. These are the people who now benefit from what was once yours, certainly not you! Croak!!!

When Thatcher left her government position, and remember, she left it in a state of ill health, she was rewarded by becoming a Baroness, yes, can you believe it? Seems that the Labour party are continuing with these good old traditions. When anyone does something wrong, and unlike you, Bob and just about everyone else who fits this bill, they are rewarded, whereas you lot would be punished in some way. Perhaps a loss of your position at work? Or, if it's serious enough, they'd put the police onto you. Croak!!! Don't believe me? Well, remember what I told you in my 'Pulling the wool' Blog? Of course you do! That head of Revenue and Taxes, I told you that he come up smelling of roses despite having committed a real gaff, well he has. He's working elsewhere in your government on a salary of nearly a quarter of a million pounds per year. How sweet is that? Not bad for someone who was responsible for losing your precious and highly confidential information. Croak!!!

What else has been happening in recent years? Well, I wonder what your thoughts are about these companies who first sack their workforce, then move their manufacturing infrastructure to Poland, China or some other country that caters for those who unfortunately work as slaves. It's little wonder that what they manufacture turns out to be crap. And I ask you, what do these workers get from their slave labour? It's the sort of money you'd spend on having a good night out every week of the year, and little more. But to these workers, who are human beings with families just like you, it represents a months or even several months pay. Do not tell me that you'd work for the same pay they get, because that would be a downright lie! Furthermore, these companies, who decided to kick you out and onto the dole, and do it for whatever excuse, now want, no, they damned well expect you to support their business and buy their mangy products, and all at vastly inflated prices. Bloody cheek! I say, boycott these companies and do it now. Croak!!!

You know, I keep on hearing about companies in this country who are forever harping on about loyalty. Well, just on the off chance that someone from one of these companies is reading this, although I sometimes doubt that they can actually read anyway, I'll spell it out to you. If you want loyalty from your employees, pay them extra for it, if not, then buy yourself a bloody dog. Those people who work for you, do so in order to make something of their lives. They work hard and do so in order to pay their bills, go on holidays, buy a house and a car and so on. They do not work from a misguided sense of loyalty towards you. In fact, they most likely don't give a tinker's cuss about you. So, in future, if you want loyalty, don't forget that dog... Or start paying your workers for it, okay? Ribbit!!!

Well, that's enough ranting and raving for another week. Since you'll no doubt be celebrating Christmas next week, I'll be sure to find you some other ripe comments on your human way of life. Stay safe, do have nightmares and I hope you'll come and see me again next week...

Froggy ;)

It's Christmas...

Once again, you humans have reached that special time of the year when you celebrate the spirit of Christmas, usually by drinking as much of it as you can manage, and while you can just about understand that someone is shouting "Merry Christmas" and not what you thought, since after knocking back a few, you were sure they were just taking the piss. Never mind, eh? Ribbit!!!

As it's also the season to be jolly, I only wish that I had some good news to spread your way, but sadly I don't. As I said some time ago, those of you who were mad enough to mortgage yourselves to the hilt, you are now starting to feel the crunch. Bob says that it's no fun living on the streets, and believe me, he knows a thing or two about this situation. However, since you humans seem to have this craze for spending money you don't have, and on houses that simply aren't worth the money you spend on them, then perhaps the current climate will help you to wake up and see the light for what it really is. Croak!!!

As a frog, I get to hear a lot of gossip on my travels around the garden. Unlike you humans, I know when it's wise to look where I'm going and watch what I'm doing. But you lot, well... I don't know why, you appear to go wandering through life blindly. You want what you don't have, more so if you can't afford it from whatever you earn in your jobs. Bob says that when he was a young man, he had to save for the things he wanted. Now, this sounds very sensible to me. Ribbit!!!

Today, the younger humans among you want everything straightaway, even though they rarely have the money to pay for these things. You want a car as soon as you're old enough to drive, but not just any old banger, it has to be a Porsche or some other turbo-charged what-not. You want enough credit cards to give you a touch of what you think the high life is, never mind whether you can afford them, cos there's always the bank of mom and dad to lean on, if things turn slightly pear-shaped that is. Clothes, you've got to have enough of these to fill a shop, anything less is simply not good enough for you. Then, you've simply got to have a home of your own, just as long as it's better than the home you grew up in. Now, if none of this rings any bells, I promise that I'll drink the contents of the garden pond. Croak!!!

The trouble with young people today, it's that you're quite incapable of standing on your own two feet, nor have you any idea on how to handle your finances properly. You think that money grows on trees, which usually means those in your parents garden. You have a never ending desire for everything no matter what it costs. Well, this sort of greed will turn into the most terrifying nightmare of your miserable life. Croak!!!

Believe me, when you get yourself into this kind of mess, and you no doubt will eventually, nobody will want to know you any more. Surely you've heard the old saying : nobody likes a loser? Well they don't. Think of this, when you were buying those so-called friends of yours endless rounds of drinks, along with all those free meals at the best restaurants, where are they now? If this hasn't happened yet, take it from me as your real friend, it bloody well will. Croak!!!

Well, I'm off to find somewhere warm for the night. Stay safe and I hope you'll come and see me again next week...


Froggy

British Comedy at its best

I want to go into hibernation, but I'm afraid that you'll go to pieces, if I leave you humans on your own for a few months. Croak!!!

According to Bob, the man who lets me in on all the juicy gossip, has once again been telling me yet more stories concerning the way your government conducts its business on your behalf. He says that more often than not, your well-being is fast becoming of very little concern to those you voted into office. He also says, if you take a good long look at the way they conduct themselves in parliament, you will discover that it's more like watching old-time music hall during a comedy turn, than acting like the honourable members of parliament that they are supposed to be. At times, Bob has likened their antics to that of a kindergarten full of three and four year old toddlers. This really is British comedy at its best. Croak!!!

If you are inclined to disbelieve the wise words of Bob, or even Froggy's advice, then perhaps you should buy yourselves a copy of something called, Private Eye magazine. The news revealed within its pages will certainly do much more than open your eyes to what is going on in Britain today. Even your local government officials do not go unscathed. what is worse, everything that MPs and your local council members do as your representatives, is done because you humans have allowed these things to happen. It's downright disgraceful!!! Croak!!!

Your government is funded by your taxation system, therefore, how is it that ordinary members of the public are forced to do what your government should be doing? Here I refer to something Bob saw on a television programme, The Secret Millionaire. Why is it that it takes the generosity of a millionaire to help those less fortunate than themselves, when this is surely the basic role of your government? You should be asking your local MP, or even government itself, why aren't they spending the money they gather on the people of Britain, more especially by helping the less fortunate? This is why you lot are taxed in the first place, and it's why Britain is one of the wealthiest countries in the world. From the way I perceive the matter, this money is being continually squandered on a long list of mistakes they make, and it also goes towards helping the MPs to better their own lives. Croak!!!

Your government apparently gathers billions in road fund licensing to maintain your road system, but Bob says that there are thousands of roads out there that are in very bad need of repair, and yet nothing has been done about the large potholes etc, for more than three or even four decades. Since this is often the case, what the hell are they spending your money on? Ahhh Yesss, Read the Private Eye magazine and find the truth... You lot are going to be in for a big surprise. Croak!!!

Another subject now, your railway services. They are just as much of a rip-off now as they were when I last spoke about them. I see that your government still insists on giving huge subsidies, your taxes, to these railway companies, despite that they keep on putting up their fares by more than the rate of inflation. Why? Again, why is it necessary to subsidise private companies that do not have the public's interest at heart? According to government plans, railways were supposed to be backed by public money in order to get you motorists off the roads. Isn't about time that you lot told your government that their plan isn't working, and never will? Croak!!!

Bob once used to regularly go everywhere on the railways at one time, but now, their fares are so damned high, he can't recall the last time he went anywhere on a train. A guess that this is just another sign of the times, and it stinks! Croak!!!

That's it, all the hot air has been released for another week, so, I'll be back again real soon. Take care of yourselves...

Froggy