Spring Watching

Being a frog, it's truly heart-warming to know that you humans enjoy watching birds, butterflies and a host of other creatures that I'm proud to call my friends. As pleasing as this little bit of information is, Bob warned me to be on the lookout for a rather eccentric tubby four-eyed creature, otherwise known as the Bill Oddie. This somewhat shy and apparently quite timid creature, is frequently found stalking a variety of woodland, open countryside habitats, streams and lakes where he can be observed carrying a pair of binoculars, or a humongous telescope with which to spy on those such as I, around this time of the year. Occasionally, he is said to be accompanied by a female of your species, a certain Kate Humble. But unlike most females, I have it on good authority that the Oddie rarely allows this female to get a word in edgeways.

Now, although Bob says that he enjoys watching the wonders of nature on his television, he finds it a constant annoyance that the subjects of the Oddie's Spring Watch, very rarely concerns anything other than a boring family of swallows or tits (oops! I said a naughty word.), whereas a friend of his, Simon King is once again being packed off to the back of beyond, the Hebrides. When Bob learnt of this, he nearly blew a gasket, stating that he hopes he's not going to have to endure watching countless Deer for the umpteenth time. Bob wants to casually remind them that there is more to nature than a few birds, deer, otters and the Oddie. Croak!!!

Bob would like to see something about the diversity of wild flowers, or perhaps those humble bumble bees, butterflies and other quite interesting insects. He recalls that he once saw a squirrel playing with a stick. Now this was entertaining and is something he says he's never seen with the Oddie. I told Bob that we frogs have a thing or two that's also worth watching, especially if a few females and a pond are put into the equation. Hey! I don't mind if you want to watch me doing what's natural, after all, I'm aware that most of you humans enjoy getting your kicks by watching the unusual. Ribbit!!!

So mister Oddie, don't be boring the pants off your viewers this year, give them something different for a change and, oh! give Kate the opportunity to speak a bit more than she does, okay? You'll be doing me a favour too, if you would care to consider these changes, because Bob will be a whole lot more cheerful than he's been just lately. He needs cheering up. Croak!!!

That's all for this week and there's not a political outburst to be seen anywhere, so, stay safe and I'll see you all in the garden again real soon. Bye. Ribbit!!!

Froggy