Science, 1. Commonsense, Out the window

My conversations with Bob are getting more and more wild as the weeks go by. Now... I don't need to be told that there are lots of you knowledgeable, and quite often intelligent too, humans out there. Why is it therefore, that those of you who are among the dim-witted, by far exceed those who are not? I've come to the conclusion that humans simply can't help the way they are. Ribbit!!!

I can imagine by the look that must be on your faces at this moment, you think I've finally cracked. Quite the contrary, in fact. With nothing better to do with my life apart from eating, procreating, breaking wind, and yes, we frogs are prone to releasing the odd amount of noxious gases now and again, my life is mainly centred around the study of you amazing human beings. Ribbit!!!

The greatest revelation, certainly where you lot are concerned, is your rank stupidity! You do some of the most crackpot things at times, it makes the mind boggle. Bob said that you humans are more likely to put your state of health into the hands of a load of shamanistic mumbo-jumbo, that to put your trust in all those scientifically tried and tested drugs, drugs that most likely stand between you and death's door. Did you know that if you cross my little webbed hand with pound notes, kiss me fully on the lips, I'd be able to cure you of just about anything you are likely to be afflicted with? Ribbit!!!

Of course, I would have to rub you all over with my very special herbal concoction first: it's a blend of frogbit, henbane, ragged robin and eyebright all wrapped up in a foxglove. As with all magic potions, it does pong a bit at first, but within a minute or two, your ailments will have disappeared forever and you'll start feeling like a twenty year old again... that is unless you are only twenty? Ribbit!!!

You will discover that those weird people who ply you with their mumbo-jumbo, will suddenly start waving their quartz wands over you, tell you that they have healed your chakras and taken away the evil spirits. They will also have generally lightened your wallets by several hundreds of pounds while they were at it too. Who says that humans aren't a crazy lot? Croak!!! Commonsense, yes it has indeed gone completely out of the window. It's little wonder that your world is slowly falling down around your heads.

Science is a wonderful thing, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ribbit!!!

One final thing before I go. I told you last week about those humans who are trying to prevent others from building yet another unwanted airport runway. What Bob told me this week, it's that around seven hundred homes are going to be demolished just so you lot can get away to the sun a whole lot quicker. How long before they want to knock your homes down for another useless runway too? If anything, this action alone proves to me that you humans are a truly selfish lot. Croak!!! I mean, why do you need to shove even more planes up in the air, when you humans are supposed to be eliminating these evil CO² emissions? Can you not already see the results of this growing trend in pollution? Aircraft are well suited to spreading their toxic blankets all over this green and pleasant land, but... I expect you are one of those loonies who believe in carbo trading? Take some good honest advice, there is no such damned thing! It's just a very bad excuse made by the worlds heaviest polluters where they try to justify the harm they are continually doing. Croak!!!

I'm trying to think good amphibian thoughts about you lot, but you are constantly taxing my very limited reserves of strength. Bye for now... Ribbit!!!


Froggy