Tony Blair

Hello one and all,

Once again, I find myself sitting here trying to get comfortable at the edge of the pond, while at the same time, gazing across what is today a vast expanse of frozen water. Brrrr!!! One thing is sure, you won't catch me putting my feet on that lot. My skin is delicate you know? Even the birds won't go anywhere near it! And as for those pesky furballs, well they don't like water anyway, not even when it's hard like today.

Now, while I'm thinking about the subject of behaviour, I have to wonder why is it that you lot behave in the crazy way you do? Bob, my ever so friendly neighbourhood gardener, says, there is absolutely no accounting for what humans will do to themselves, but also each other. He's got a theory about it being something in the water, whatever this means?

Did I ever tell you that being a handsome frog, like I am, does have its drawbacks? It frequently means that I have to undergo a barrage of humans who insist upon coming to talk to me. Let's face it, what would you say if someone came waltzing up to you every five minutes, and then begin ranting and raving about things you don't understand? You wouldn't like it that's for sure, and neither do I. Does it look like I'm your psychologist?

Bob, who is my bestest friend, is a human that I now understand very well. He says that if I took the trouble to stop and listen to the rest of you, I'd probably like you too. Okay!.. Then I told him that I didn't want to hear about dull and boring human exploits such as, going to shop in those supermarkets you like so much. Firstly, do I look like I'm some sort of crazed zombie, which apparently is what he says you all look like as you all go wandering off to do your local shop every week. Honestly, he says you'd think that food was being rationed as you make a frantic grab for your trolley. Bob once sneaked me down to his local supermarket, where it certainly opened my eyes to human madness!

I even saw some of you giving the evil eye to anyone who so much as appeared to be looking in your direction, worse if they looked as though they were getting in your way. Then, once inside, and the reminder chills me to recount the ordeal, it was as if you were at a formula one race meeting. Then you were, all dashing around like a million ants, where everyone seemed to be mindlessly chucking all manner of this and that, including the stuff you had no intention in buying, like those buy one, get six free, into your trolley. After this experience and I was watching you closely, you suddenly get that sadistically demonic look in your eyes and make a mad rush for the nearest checkout. All I can say is this, god help any other shopper who even so much as dares to take the till position you've fastened your beady little eyes upon.

Bob did explain that humans rarely buy what they go in for. He reckons that you frequently end up with tons of crap that you quite honestly didn't really want in the first place! Very strange! Ribbit!! Why don't you all step back for a moment, then look at what these supermarkets are doing to your precious lives. I maybe only a frog, but believe me, I've seen the signs. Croak!!

Did you know that supermarkets are not in the slightest bit interested in selling you the goods you specifically want and need? To be frank, and no, that's not my name, I'm froggy, remember? Anyway, they are there with one sole purpose in mind: It's to get all of you punters to fill your trolley with the crap they want you to buy, and absolutely nothing else... Unlike me, and Tony Blair when he's got your interest at heart, which isn't often these days, these places are truly not your friend.

For me, that trip to the superwhatsit was an experience that I don't ever want to share again. Croak!! I'd rather take my chances with the wildlife around the garden. At least it doesn't force me to do anything that I don't want to. Ribbit!!

Take care,

Froggy