Feng Shui

Hi everyone,

I've just been talking to the man who lets me live in his wonderful garden. What's all of this nonsense about Pluto not being a planet? Hell, I always thought that Pluto was a dog! Ah well, who cares anyway? We frogs do tell jokes you know. Anyway, as long as I can see what I'm getting up to at night in my incredible pond, the starlight and the music of the wind is all I'll ever need. Well, by now you will have gathered that astronomy is not exactly one of the high points in my life.

Like I was saying... This man who potters around in the garden where I live, he's doing a few jobs around the place. You know the sort of thing I mean, a plant here and a plant there, just to smarten the place up a bit. Of course, I don't mind what he does, just as long as he doesn't touch my furniture. The rocks are okay right where they are, and anyway, I'm not into this feng shui crap. All the same, I am particular where I lay to sun myself... SO DON'T MOVE THAT BLOODY ROCK!!! There, he heard me, bless him. That's the thing about humans, we frogs know how to train them. Soon I'll have him eating out of my hand, you just wait and see.


Sadly, this brings me to the subject of my French cousins. Unfortunately, they recently informed me that they still have to deal with being... eaten! (Croak!!!) It chokes me just thinking about it. Of course, so long as none of you lot start picking up these nasty little habits, yuk!! By the way, I haven't been feeling none too well lately. My local quack advised me to begin some therapy, nothing too strenuous mind you. Well, he's told me to count the legs of a millipede. Crikey! That's going to take me all day... Just one last thing, contrary to popular belief, we frogs can't stand being picked up. Having the smell of humans all over one's body, well, it fair puts the females right off us.


That's all for now, I'll be seeing you...


Froggy