Ifrogman ifrogman

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The highest bidder…

As a frog, there is one thing I understand very well when it comes to many of you humans. Stupidity! Yes, if you were to be honest with yourselves, you would most definitely agree with me. If you still don’t think I’m right, then let me tell you about something that Bob mentioned to me only yesterday. Ribbit!!!

I understand that you humans are prone to forgetting things from time to time, and losing things too. Well, I was told that someone bought a Laptop on the auction website, eBay, and all for the princely sum of 35 of your pounds. I don’t know about you, but even this is a pretty damned low finishing price even for eBay on such an item. I wonder if they kept the final value fee? Anyway at this level of price, the old alarm bells should have been ringing loud and clear, especially for the one who was the highest bidder and won the auction. Actually, that was probably the case, which is why eBay is now investigating this auction. It’s not that such an item was being offered on eBay, but how it managed to get there in the first place?

The company who had had this item stolen from them explained that theirs is a secure company, and that they don’t understand how it could have been removed from their premises? Quite obviously, their security is not as good as they think it is. Ribbit!!!

It’s bad enough that outsourced companies, and even government departments themselves, are making such confidential and sensitive material easy to steal from them. Take it from a frog, nobody should be able to remove anything from their workplace, apart from the shoes and clothing they entered it in, along with their personal belongings. Giving the excuse that they needed to do some work at, or on the way home, just doesn’t cut the mustard. Secure means just this, secure. Anything removed from the place in which it is normally stored for use, is in no way said to be secure. Croak!!!

Let me give some of these companies some advice: Have all Laptops stored away in a secure cupboard at the end of the day’s work. Let the key be held by security. Do not allow anyone to take data away from the workplace. Allowing anyone to do so, well it’s tantamount to being as guilty as the person who steals, or loses it. Croak!!!

A tip for those outsourced companies, because government officials never get sacked, only rewarded for their incompetence. If you lose vital information that is entrusted to you, you will without a doubt lose your contract… and so you damned well should. Croak!!!

For those who either steal data because you’ve got a grudge against your employer, and are not interested in making anything from your dark deed, or you’ve done it with the idea to sell it on to someone who told you he’d pay a fortune for the info, forget it. Why? Because you simply won’t get away with it. The one you sold it to will be living in another country by the time the transaction has been completed, so the only one left to carry the can… yes, that’s you! If you’ve done it for the former, get a life! Croak!!!

Finally, I fail to understand why it is that none of the data stolen is ever encrypted? Surely, this should be the first consideration, especially under the data protection act, shouldn’t it?

I was going to say something about the Chinese Olympics, but as usual my warnings went unheeded. Well, our glorious sportsmen and women have got their pieces of silver. I hope that they can now live with their consciences? Who says that you humans live in a caring world? It doesn‘t look like it from my side of the fence. Croak!!!

Now I’ve got a headache! Oh, yes I have…

Never mind, I’ll see you all again next week… Bye,

Froggy

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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Greetings earthlings…

No, I’m just kidding. It’s just that I thought you lot would appreciate a little of your own human humour ;) Ribbit!!! But on a more serious note, yes I’m back to being my usual self again, I thought you’d like to know that most of you appear to have ignored what I said about the Chinese Olympics. Look, I realise that sport is a medium that brings you humans together in the name of peace, but what happens when these games are over? You lot will be congratulating your sportsmen and women on winning all their medals, but at what cost in human suffering? Were all those pieces of gold, silver and bronze worth the continued suffering of countless Chinese men, women and children? Would it really have hurt to have withdrawn support of these blood-stained Olympics? I think not! Croak!!!

Of course, here in your own little piece of the world, things are probably all hunky-dory, but that isn’t to say that human-rights begin and end on your doorstep, far from it. You lot most likely enjoy your freedom, but many Chinese wouldn’t even recognize the meaning of the word. You know, us frogs know a thing or two about you humans, and it isn’t all good either. Your world is full of terrible pain, misery and suffering. Why? It’s not as if people can’t get along with each other, they do. But, are you aware that there is more bitter wrangling and turmoil in your world today, than ever before? Did you know that a great deal of human strife is caused in the name of religion? As Bob says, there is nothing new in that, especially where the history of humans is concerned. Croak!!!

Humans cannot hope to find peace, if they don’t care to place law and order high on their list of priorities. For instance, Bob recently went to take a look around a town, one that is renown for its tourism and wonderful scenery, well, this town and its inhabitants appeared to have no respect for the law. Its motorists park just about anywhere they damned well please, or more especially, on the pavements. This township was informed a while ago that there would be an increased police presence, and where it mattered too, but after a day or two of plodding their beat, the police were made more noticeable by their total absence ever since. Croak!!!



Here is a typical example of the human lack of respect



It’s funny how your lives are gradually going downhill, but then what can you expect when there is no respect? Even your progeny don’t respect their parents any longer. They do as they please, and when they please. Family values have gone the way of the Dodo, by becoming all but extinct. This is why I think that you humans have no respect for anything around you, apparently not even for yourselves. Croak!!!

It’s getting a bit crowded in the garden lately, what with my growing progeny, the millions of slugs we have to climb over to get to, and from, the pond. I have to admit that this wet summer is keeping the larder full, so I know I shouldn’t complain really. Ribbit!!!

Well, I’m going to love you and leave you, but only until you come by again in about a week’s time. Bye all… oh, and take care of yourselves.

Froggy

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

A fine mess…

While I was contemplating my day ahead, sitting as I was beside the pond, I recalled something that Bob told me about with regard to some of you humans. Apparently, some of you do care about your environment and the creatures that live in it. Thanks, good for you. He also says that life among humans can be a bit stressful at times, although he reckons that after what I told him about my way of life, he’ll never quite look the same way about his own from now on. Most of you probably think that I, being a humble frog, have a life that’s easy… but it isn’t! I face real danger from the moment I open my eyes, right up until I go to sleep again. Croak!!!

There was I lazing in the shade of a large tree just the other day, when I saw one of my progeny hopping around Bob’s fruit garden. Of course, he isn’t aware of the dangers like I am, but he’ll learn eventually, if he’s lucky that is. Anyway, instead of hopping into safety when danger threatened, he merely hopped onto a rock that was out in the open. Now, if there had been one of those long leggedy beasties, you know, the heron, well, he would have ended up inside the bird’s stomach. Fortunately, nothing untoward happened, so he’ll survive to see yet another day. Ribbit!!!

Anyway, as I was saying, life for us creatures is fraught with many countless and usually unseen dangers. If you humans could shrink yourselves down to my size and view my world as I do, then you would begin to understand what I’m going on about. Life is always a battle of wits, a fight against the odds, one where there is always another creature laying in wait to terminate one’s life. Take those furbags you lot call cats. You think they are cute and cuddly, but believe me, they are not. I’ve seen them pounce on unsuspecting birds, maim them, then play with the little things until they screech for mercy. Do the furbags show mercy? No, the hell they do. When they finish playing with their prey, they give it to you as a gift by placing it at your doorstep. The same goes for frogs, toads, mice and just about anything else they find that’s so easy to kill. No, a frog’s life is far more stressful than you may think it is. Croak!!!

In spite of what I said last week, Bob reckons that the British landscape is being ruined by those who casually throw their rubbish away, rarely in the dustbin where it belongs, but on your streets, in country lanes, public parks, in other people’s gardens and in the beautiful countryside in general. He says that today’s society has given up caring for its surroundings. If this is so, then you don’t deserve to live in it. Croak!!! I bet that this is probably why there are so many more of those filthy rats on your streets and in your parks than ever before. Even I can’t fight against such fearsome critters, even if you think you’re hard enough and you can. I’ve seen your not so innocent progeny when they think you’re not watching them. They discard their litter without a single care or thought about having done it. These are the adults of the future, so how will they behave when they eventually grow up? I think that just like a lot of you right now, they still won’t give a damn and there’ll be rubbish everywhere, along with a plague of rats and diseases that’ll go with it. Croak!!!

It’s time I was off to get some dinner. Now, if I make it safely around the garden pond, I’ll hope to be back with you again real soon, bye….

Froggy

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Mountains of rubbish

While Bob was working in the garden a few days ago, he talked about the subject of weather forecasting, which to me sounds a bit like being able to order the weather that suits you the best. Apparently, it’s nothing of the kind. How sad is that? Wouldn’t it be so much nicer to have weather on demand? You could have it rain at night, which suits me because it would bring out the slugs by the millions, yummy! Then during the day, we could have lots of lovely sunshine to laze around in. Ribbit!!!

Sadly, this weather forecasting isn’t quite what it purports to be, and why not, I hear you ask? Well, according to Bob, your BBC weather forecasters should go back to using long bits of seaweed and a few pine cones. During the past month or so, the BBC hasn’t been able to get a single forecast correct. They forecast rain, we get sunshine. They forecast sunshine and we get rain. They forecast several days in advance, then on the very next day, this forecast has changed completely. Now, I don’t know about you, but they did a much better job of forecasting when they didn’t have all this fancy radar equipment they use today. Croak!!!

Have you noticed the mountains of rubbish that seems to be laying everywhere today? Of course, Bob says that if the supermarkets didn’t keep on wrapping their goods in so much plastic and polythene, then our streets and countryside wouldn’t look quite so filthy. Bob reckons that if the government was as keen on clamping down on these supermarkets and their wrappings, as they are about the amount you lot throw away, then society would benefit enormously by it. Ribbit!!!

According to one of your newspapers recently, the spot penalty for overfilling your rubbish bins, could reach up to £110. However, the spot penalty for chucking it directly on the ground, won’t go over £75. The government’s advice seems to be, chuck it on the ground, you’ll save yourselves £35. Croak!!!

Another piece of news from Bob, he says that if the motorists among you don’t reduce the amount you use your vehicles, the government will simply raise the price of fuel in order to counteract this problem. That’s good of them, isn’t it? Croak!!!

Well, I see that the Chinese are determined to carry on with hosting the Olympic Games, and all regardless on their record of human rights. What I cannot understand is this, why are sportsmen and women from the more civilized countries still taking part? Can it be that they don’t really give a rat’s backside about all those people who lost their homes, just so that the Chinese government could host these games in their capital city for two weeks? To me, it’s beginning to look like you humans are more greedy and uncaring that I had at first imagined. Have you no shame at all? Oh, of course, I forgot, you lot are doing the same thing in London in 2012. Croak!!!

Well, that’s enough of me for another week. I’m off to see what’s in the garden this evening. I’ll see you all again real soon...


Froggy

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