A Total Lack of Respect

A Total Lack of Respect

Ribbit!! La, la, la, Ribbit!! La, la, la, Ribbit!! Rib... Ooops! Oh dear, how very embarrassing! This time, you've managed to catch me on the hop, and right when I'm in the middle of taking my bath, too. Yes! Even frogs like me have to take a bath once in a while. Anyway, with a bath the size of mine, it's actually the garden pond, but hey, who cares? I bet that you're all wild with jealousy! Go on admit it? Healthwise, I need to take care of my fine delicate skin, so I use the pond, 'cos it gives me plenty of room to slosh about in. Just give me a couple of minutes while I make myself respectable...

(Leaps around the garden like a demented toad, this is to wind-dry my sleek and powerful body. Admires self in reflection in the pond. Hiya handsome?) That's better! Ribbit!!!

You know what? I spent some quality time admiring the daffodils earlier on today. They are now just beginning to show their bright blooms around the edge of the pond. My, how really peaceful they make me feel. Bob should be proud of his work, and since spring is nearly here once more, he deserves to be able to enjoy the fruits of his labours. You only get out of anything what you put into it. That's what gardening is all about, you see? But don't forget... there's no need to break your back with all that unnecessary digging! Croak!!!

Well, it's time for me to get up on my soapbox again, 'cos if I don't complain on your behaviour as human beings, who will? Besides, I'm here to speak about your wonderful inoffensive Senior Citizens, and all because they are once again being treated with so much disrespect. They don't deserve it!!

Bob tells me that you humans, or rather what he calls householders(?), all have to pay yet another tax that's known as, the 'Council Tax'. (Boooo!!!) Apparently, when those nasty Tories were in power in your government some years ago, (not long enough where Bob is concerned!) a nasty female of your species, (formerly known as the maggot!) unleashed a truly unpopular tax upon you all. This was known as the dreaded 'Poll Tax'. This was something that everyone was supposed to contribute to, so little wonder that it was something that was so disliked. People even went to prison then rather than pay it. Anyway, in keeping with opposition governments of the period, they swore (don't they always?) that if they got into power, remember, this was the labour party, they would remove this abomination of a tax altogether. A similar promise was made when changes were brought in, whereupon it was axed and replaced by another tax known as, the 'Council Tax'. Now, how's that for a bold-faced human lie?!

Not only have they kept this tax in place during the last ten years, but they've steadily increased the rate that is paid by householders, many times over as the ruling government. Bob says that the latest news concerns your senior citizens, who are apparently simply refusing to pay it, and for extremely good reason. The miserable pensions these people receive, simply cannot bear the terrible burden this tax puts on it, nor can these pensioners!

Have you humans absolutely no shame at all? Do you not think that once a person retires after a lifetime of work, they are not entitled to enjoy what little money your government allows them to have, without taking it back in the form of ever spiralling taxes? Have these people not paid enough tax already during their working lives?

After all, Bob says that even though he is retired himself, he understands this situation only too well. Just like every other pensioner, he not only pays his Council Tax, but he still continues to pay other taxes, like those directly through the vast majority of purchases he makes, and here I include energy, water rates, electrical goods, transport, household goods and countless services that include, plumbers, electricians, repairs technicians and so on. This should be enough, but oh bloody hell no!

Know this, the people you humans voted into power, and remember they get thousands of pounds a week to live on, don't have to live under the same harsh regime they inflict upon Senior Citizens! Not by a very long way they don't!

To your government's shame, they would rather put non council tax paying pensioners in prison, because according to them, you humans must pay your taxes.... What a load of horse crap! Croak!!! Have you any idea what it costs to sent someone to prison? And they have the gall to moan about non payment of taxes for this delicate sector of the society. I'm going to take another bath when I've finished talking to you lot. I feel so dirty! Croak!!!

Isn't it odd, you humans unflinchingly accept that one sector of your society allows another to openly evade paying taxes. Yes! Evade paying their taxes! Why? Because they can get away with something humans call, clever accounting, or tax avoidance. I call it, tax evasion! And you lot should do too... And yet it seems to me, a simple garden frog, that you'd rather send your Senior Citizens to your already overcrowded prisons, than come up with some other way to pay for this tax, thereby releasing pensioners from this incredible and totally unfair burden. A pensioner does not have the same spending power as someone who works for a living! Leaping toads! They aren't even given the respect of being given an income that comes anywhere near the minimum wage! Ask yourselves this: Do these pensioners deserve to be sent to prison? SHAME ON YOU ALL if you think they do! Croak!!!

Of course, you're probably one of those who thinks that they should go to prison for non payment. But then you're probably one of those greedy, selfish b******s anyway! I wonder, will you change your attitude once you become a pensioner yourself? Somehow, I very much doubt it.

Bob says that the government has started carping on about the fact that people are living too long. So, suddenly it's a damned crime to want to live! And there you were, hoping to have an enjoyable retirement after all those years of hard labour. Don't even think about it! Well, mister Blair, I've got news for you: With the pittance you pay to British pensioners, it's the same as condemning them to death anyway, so sooner or later, you'll achieve your apparent zero tolerance for senior citizens! Of course, when your kind retires, you'll have all that money you got as a PM to spend, won't you?

Well, it's time I went and had my second bath in the pond, and if I don't mind saying so, that water looks so inviting after all that talking...

Stay safe and take care, and do drop by again soon...

Froggy

The Poorest Children

Hello one and all,

I was out in the garden only the other day, trying my best to relax and take in the sunshine, when Bob, the ever busy gardener located me to talk about one of his favourite subjects: Human Behaviour. I was spellbound from that moment onward... Well, you should know by now that to a handsome frog like me, humans doing what they like to do is, truly fascinating, to quote a Vulcan friend of mine.

Anyway, I digress. According to Bob and those very nice people from UNICEF, you British humans should be burying your heads in the ground. Why? Because of the shame you bring upon yourselves, that's what! Oh yes, I know what you lot are thinking here, who am I to talk about one's children? I know! I know! The offspring of us frogs are known to be cannibals. But hey! In the lower animal world, it's the survival of the fittest that counts. So, what's your excuse???

Here you all are, living in the land of milk and honey, one of the richest countries in the whole world, and yet... Britain is full of poor children. No surprise there eh?! Well let's face it, you humans are after all a greedy lot, and make no mistake about it. Even your MPs think that two hundred pounds a week for a family of four, including two children, is enough to live on. Leaping toads!! Are they kidding? It's no wonder Britain is full of poor children, when you have people living here with those kinds of attitude. Honestly, your MPs are so remote from real everyday life, that they think they have the right to stand in judgement over children who are not able to fend, or even act for themselves.

This is what comes of paying MPs two thousand pounds plus a week. They think that they know it all. In truth, they are privileged because you humans were daft enough to vote them into their well-paid cushy jobs in the first place, and that's where any similarity between any caring person and MPs ends!

Being a frog, I'm finding it more and more difficult to understand the working of the human mind. You live together, more from sufferance than anything else, and yet you appear to have very little conscience regarding the things you do. You have money, but it's never enough! You save for a rainy day, and even then you don't spend any of it! You amass your little fortune and suddenly, well you die and your government grabs as much of it as your laws allow. Tough!! Oddly, Bob says that many of you think that you're going to take your wealth with you, beyond the grave. Nuts!!! You want to know something? If you have children and they get your loot when you've pegged it, I hope they fritter it away like there was no tomorrow! Ribbit!!! This means that all your carefully planned tight-fisted thoughts on becoming the richest human in the country, are completely laid to waste. Sucker!!!

Mind you, you can have all the riches in the world, but if you're as ugly as a toad's back, and your health is up the creek, which I hope it is, and everyone is calling you names behind your back, I guess that you're a miserable sod! You damn well deserve it. Ribbit!!!

Me? I couldn't be more happy! Your selfish attitudes over global warming means that I'll soon have much more space to live out my own life in. Great!!! Ribbit, Ribbit!!!

Well, it's time I went and had a dip in the pond, that water looks so inviting...

Stay safe and take care, and do drop by again soon...

Froggy

It's Just Criminal...

Hello one and all,

There's a marked change in the weather again. Temperatures are up for the time of year, and... I'm pleased to say, that the dreadful snow and ice have disappeared from the garden and the pond. I was beginning to wonder when I was going to be able to take a bath again? Yes, even frogs like me have to take a bath sometime in life, preferably evenings and before it gets dark. Ribbit!!!

Bob, the gardener has been walking around here with a permanent smile on his face, though I'm not sure if it's because he's happy, or that he's had a drop of the hard stuff? He says that it's time he got on with a little pruning before it's too late. I must admit that I couldn't help but notice that there are lots of buds pushing their way towards the sky. To me, it has to be a sure sign that spring is on its way. I've also noticed that some of Bob's daffodils are not too far from flowering, nice! These will brighten up the garden no end. He also tells me that he's going to put some marginal plants in the pond for me. Now isn't that kind of him? Ribbit!!!

Being nice to others costs nothing, or so Bob tells me. Unfortunately, he wishes that he could say them same for humans in general. Being British, he explained, is like having the plague, yes, the plague! Who else is there that wants to buy up houses all around the world, just so they can say that they have somewhere to stay for two or three weeks in every year? Bob told me that unlike most Europeans, the British are almost the only nation that is never satisfied with what they have, they must have what everyone else has too. It's called greed!!

In France, by example, families buy one house, the one they intent to live in as a family. This is usually passed on from one family generation to the next. This means, that before the greedy British began to buy up houses at prices so inflated that the French couldn't ignore it, houses were very reasonably inexpensive for them. Now, ordinary French couples setting out together in life, simply cannot afford to shell out the sort of prices the Brits can and frequently do pay, in order to get a house to live in year round as a growing family. It's Just Criminal... Croak!!!

Bob says that the greedy Brits are doing this everywhere. He'd like to know where they get all this spare cash from, when prices of up to a quarter of a million pounds is commonplace?

Oddly, Bob reckons that it reminds him of what happened in Wales during 1979 and the early eighties, when the English were buying up houses in Wales to use as holiday homes. This rankled the Welsh no end, so much so, that the Welsh went around burning these properties to the ground... How long before we see the same thing happening with foreign second (holiday) homes?

You know, you humans appear to be at each others throats all the time! Bob told me about these "Gated Estates" that you are building everywhere. He says that instead of having an integrated society, it is fast becoming a segregated one. According to many, this is because of the lack of policing in the community. The police promise to give a show of strength by patrolling on foot on your human streets, but instead they end up in their nice comfy cars, where they prefer to chase after motorists, because it's easier than confronting what truly troubles human society, the yob culture that prevails every night without fail. I guess that Bob must also be talking about those "Hoodies" here? Croak!!! Perhaps this is why some of you want gated estates, and yet you know that it's not the answer.

Oh Boy!! Am I glad I'm a frog, 'cos being a human sounds like it's too much hard work, and dangerous too! Croak!!!

Take care now,

Froggy

Tony Blair

Hello one and all,

Once again, I find myself sitting here trying to get comfortable at the edge of the pond, while at the same time, gazing across what is today a vast expanse of frozen water. Brrrr!!! One thing is sure, you won't catch me putting my feet on that lot. My skin is delicate you know? Even the birds won't go anywhere near it! And as for those pesky furballs, well they don't like water anyway, not even when it's hard like today.

Now, while I'm thinking about the subject of behaviour, I have to wonder why is it that you lot behave in the crazy way you do? Bob, my ever so friendly neighbourhood gardener, says, there is absolutely no accounting for what humans will do to themselves, but also each other. He's got a theory about it being something in the water, whatever this means?

Did I ever tell you that being a handsome frog, like I am, does have its drawbacks? It frequently means that I have to undergo a barrage of humans who insist upon coming to talk to me. Let's face it, what would you say if someone came waltzing up to you every five minutes, and then begin ranting and raving about things you don't understand? You wouldn't like it that's for sure, and neither do I. Does it look like I'm your psychologist?

Bob, who is my bestest friend, is a human that I now understand very well. He says that if I took the trouble to stop and listen to the rest of you, I'd probably like you too. Okay!.. Then I told him that I didn't want to hear about dull and boring human exploits such as, going to shop in those supermarkets you like so much. Firstly, do I look like I'm some sort of crazed zombie, which apparently is what he says you all look like as you all go wandering off to do your local shop every week. Honestly, he says you'd think that food was being rationed as you make a frantic grab for your trolley. Bob once sneaked me down to his local supermarket, where it certainly opened my eyes to human madness!

I even saw some of you giving the evil eye to anyone who so much as appeared to be looking in your direction, worse if they looked as though they were getting in your way. Then, once inside, and the reminder chills me to recount the ordeal, it was as if you were at a formula one race meeting. Then you were, all dashing around like a million ants, where everyone seemed to be mindlessly chucking all manner of this and that, including the stuff you had no intention in buying, like those buy one, get six free, into your trolley. After this experience and I was watching you closely, you suddenly get that sadistically demonic look in your eyes and make a mad rush for the nearest checkout. All I can say is this, god help any other shopper who even so much as dares to take the till position you've fastened your beady little eyes upon.

Bob did explain that humans rarely buy what they go in for. He reckons that you frequently end up with tons of crap that you quite honestly didn't really want in the first place! Very strange! Ribbit!! Why don't you all step back for a moment, then look at what these supermarkets are doing to your precious lives. I maybe only a frog, but believe me, I've seen the signs. Croak!!

Did you know that supermarkets are not in the slightest bit interested in selling you the goods you specifically want and need? To be frank, and no, that's not my name, I'm froggy, remember? Anyway, they are there with one sole purpose in mind: It's to get all of you punters to fill your trolley with the crap they want you to buy, and absolutely nothing else... Unlike me, and Tony Blair when he's got your interest at heart, which isn't often these days, these places are truly not your friend.

For me, that trip to the superwhatsit was an experience that I don't ever want to share again. Croak!! I'd rather take my chances with the wildlife around the garden. At least it doesn't force me to do anything that I don't want to. Ribbit!!

Take care,

Froggy

Wakey! Wakey!

Hello one and all,

It had to happen didn't it? You humans have only just now decided that climatic changes and global warming, are indeed a real threat to you all. The mind boggles I have to say! Croak!! Bob says that he heard some responsible(?) representative of the human media say, we must do something to tackle global warming now... in the next ten years. Leaping furballs!! Are you humans truly this bloody stupid or what? I have to wonder which branch of the evolutionary scale actually has the larger more powerful brain? Ten years? You've left it too late as it is, you simply don't have up to ten years to come up with a solution. What has to be done, must be bloody well done now!!! If you lot were to leave it for anything like ten years, you'll find yourselves right up to your scrawny necks in the shite, with absolutely no turning back.

Wash out your ears and polish the old eyeballs. Look, from what I've been told, you humans are even now divided about whether anything should be done or not. I hate to say this, but you lot are truly heading for disaster if you continue with attitudes like that. Your scientists are saying that if the polar ice-caps melt, (who are they kidding? these ice-caps have already gone beyond the point of no return!) coastal regions will be inundated with flooding on a grand scale that you simply won't believe. So, all you humans that are living in those over-priced properties around the British coastline, are in for an enormous shock! You can be sure that you'll wish you had been born with webbed feet, just like mine in fact. I'll tell you what: invest in a boat and sell your house.

Of course, global warming will add much more flood water to the landscape as a whole, via much heavier rainfall. This will lead to towns and cities, especially in the north of Britain, seeing increased flooding along with the devastation of human property. Tornadoes will sweep the land more frequently as the weather systems change, which of course is just another means to blow your precious houses down. Did you know that Britain sees more tornadoes than anywhere else in the world? I wish that I could tell you that it's not too late to act, but quite honestly, I can't! Croak!!!

As I was saying earlier, various countries around this planet are unbelievably divided as to whether they should do something about global warming or not. I understand that instead of reducing the number of aircraft that India puts into the air, they have decided to increase them and become a world leader in air traffic. Further, that nice mister Bush thinks that since India and China will not be doing anything to stop their CO² and other gases being released into the atmosphere, why the hell should his country stop it either? I ask you all, shouldn't he be setting an example for the western world, instead of acting like the halfwit he seems to be? From where I'm sitting, I'd say that your planet is going to be royally f*****d, taking the whole human race along with it. Croak!!! Croak!!!

Now, in case you humans didn't know it, I shall have a lot of offspring in the next month or two, but unlike you with your own children, mine will be sure to survive the trials and tribulations of a dramatic climate change and global warming. However, I very much doubt that yours will... You know, it won't matter how much the people of this country do to try and reverse global warming, that nice mister Bush, along with the Chinese and Indians, will mess up all of your efforts for you. I call it being selfish, greedy and downright ignorant. But hey, you humans must learn to reap what you sow!!!

I don't doubt that most of you humans tend to ignore me, simply because I'm a frog and what the hell do I know about human society? Well... do so at your peril! Psst! Bend your ears in my direction. We frogs have been on this planet a darned sight lot longer than you have, so, we know a thing or two about life and the way this planet's natural systems operate. I've only go to look at what's happening, to realise how much you lot know about it.

I'm going to tell you humans what is going to happen, but let's hope that I'm going to be wrong with regard to any of the extreme cases I mention.

The British population will reduce the amount of flying they do. False! They will take no notice of the fact that the increase in flying causes global warming. True!

Humans will drastically reduce the amount they use their cars. False! Despite that this would do something positive towards global warming, it's simply not going to happen. True!

Britain's weather will turn to the extreme. True! There will be much more rain and widespread flooding. True! There will be much hotter Summers. True! With the ice-caps melting, there will be a huge rise in ocean levels. True! Britain will see far less snowfall than in past years. True! Drought and hosepipe bans will increase with global warming. True!

Those in charge of enforcing changes to turn global warming around, will act now before they think that it's too late. False! They will do nothing. True! Third world countries will see famine and drought on a par never experienced before. True. Climate change and global warming will have an effect on food supplies worldwide. True!

Humans are greedy, selfish and couldn't really give a shite about anything. True! If we could go to the year 2027, those of you reading this last statement will know for certain that it is indeed true, in fact, you won't even have to wait that long to find out. The first terrifying signs of global warming are on their way. You mark my words... Croak!!!

Mind how you go and let me see you all trying to take care of yourselves, along with the rest of the world around you,


Your friend,

Froggy